To amyc I don't know how you do it..but....your posts..well..they lift me. I want to hug you and throw you up in the air and catch you. Thank you.
To KerryK: read the PDF...you may find your W in there, sugardaddy and all.
I'll keep a thread going. As many know from my last thread, I just completed my visit to the law guardian. Discussing my children and the hurtful things my W did brought out some tears. I hope...that I didn't come across as the weaker parent uncontrolled. Ironically (or as a ploy), my STBXW told the LG that I was a good father and good husband which the LG said she found confusing as to why our marriage was not working.
My W continues to be nonchalant as our family 'slowly hurdles' towards destruction. Cheering for Michael Phelps...taking the kids all over the place..the beach, water parks, etc....showing not a care in the world anymore. She is booking well-visits to the pediatrician and notifying me if I'd like to go.
No R talk. No M talk. Diminishing roller coasters. Resolute.
I give her credit. I wish I could do the same.
This is the world of divorce.
At times, it makes me worry that they are 'plotting again'...that something is up. I wonder if she has met someone new and she is happy...with another OM waiting in the wings. Or...since she is seeing a psychologist..is she back on meds?
Dunno.
All I can do is fill out the paperwork..do as the judge orders...and continue to try and find a better life for myself and my children. My next interview is next week in NYC. If they want me....it's contract next.
Medicine is collapsing around me. Morale is at an all time low. Reimbursements do not cover overhead. Two chiefs approached me yesterday. They will soon be offering a paltry $500 to cover the ER...no one wants to take ER call. We've lost almost 10 general surgeons in our area over the last 3-5 years without replacement. In response to an email I sent to my old chief resident who is the director of surgery at a nearby hospital:
Originally Posted By: my ex chief
FIB..this is what we are paying here--recently reduced by XXX. That's not much for lotsa torture. I was up all night, operating, until 6 this morning on an extremely difficult case. I am certain that the reimbursment will be pennies.
I should be much happier right now: I got excellent feedback on my 8 interview gauntlet run. The CEO called me yesterday..HIMSELF...and told me he was optimistic about me joining them.
It makes me feel good about myself...but it doesn't take away the pain of divorce still. As frank_d may recall...and others who have followed..my W once told me I 'had my head up my ass' with regards to my work.
No.
No.
I may not have been a great businessman, but, I would NEVER let my family down. I face greater financials struggles, but, I have hope now.
Hope.
Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Last edited by faithisbelieving; 08/22/0805:05 PM.
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
I know that this isn't much consolation but somehow good things do seem to come out of the blue. Even in the midst of the hardest period in our lives all of the things on the perimeters just seem to fall into place. Pay close attention because miracles do happen. This isn't just me being a Polyanna. It's fact, without my having gone through this, I would have missed out on so many blessings. I believe this experience happens to bring us to the place we were meant to be.
I have to say that I read with interest what you wrote about your wife. I remember many of the samethings, and thinking that if someone didn't know what was going on in my H life, they would think that he didn't have a care in the world. You've got to remember she's finally getting what she wants. Except for her periods of confussion, emotionally she's been detaching for much longer than you have, so for her to be flitting around to the beach, and parks and wherever else, it's because she's doing exactly what she wants. She thinks that this will be a magic bullet. Of course it won't be, how can it? For so long I thought that I could save my ex from himself. Now I realize that he would never have been happy unless he played it out. Thing is, he has played it out and he's still not happy. But guess what, I am and it just keeps getting better everyday.
Don't get me wrong. I still feel very sad for my children. They certainly didn't deserve what they got. I realized that by my fighting this and not making my life better with finding happiness, I was holding them hostage. In the end their Dad was out re-living what he felt he had never got to do, so giving them back some normalacy was left to me. I will never forget my son saying to me, "I just want my Mom back".
Work on giving your kids that gift FIB. Don't let your wife take that away from you!
Fig...I agree...how did I get si lucky to have Bethie on board?
She has her psychologist meeting tonight. More time with the kids. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Oh geez...I came home and my son starts jumping on the bed. "Dad...what's'this?"
My W left out her K-Y oil.
It still hurts. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
