Had a convo with her last night. I think Ladybug would be proud, at least I hope so. Hindsight is 20/20 and I probably could have said some things differently, but I think I got my point across.
I'll post about the convo in a sec. I heard this on the radio a little while ago, and felt like posting it.
Fleetwood Mac - Go Your Own Way
Loving you Isn't the right thing to do How can I ever change things That I feel
If I could Maybe I'd give you my world How can I When you won't take it from me
You can go your own way Go your own way You an call it Another lonely day You can go your own way Go your own way
Tell me why Everything turned around Packing up Shacking up is all you wanna do
If I could Baby I'd give you my world Open up Everything's waiting for you
You can go your own way Go your own way You an call it Another lonely day You can go your own way go your own way
FLoyd The grass is always GREENER over the septic tank.
Ok, so I think I left off by talking about our convo yesterday when she called me baby. I didn't contact her all day, and I was heading to an appointment when I get a text from her. She asked if I was busy tonight. I simply responded by saying that I had an appointment at seven.
While I'm at my appointment, my phone buzzes in my pocket, but I didn't check it until after I left my clients house. I check it and it's her again asking if I have a date with LaFawnda this weekend. I replied with "LOL, not this weekend, why?" She said she was just giving me a hard time and then started talking about her surgery again. (Some of you might get the LaFawnda reference, it's actually kind of funny). Since I was driving, I didn't respond until after I had gotten home, and eaten dinner. So the convo went something like this.
She told me that her boobs were huge to her. I replied by saying "I bet, do you like them?" She said "yes, but they are still numb." I asked how long it takes the numbness to wear off. She said, "It could take weeks, or months...but you can see the results way sooner than that... how was your appointment?"
(You knew it was coming, didn't you ladybug? I really didn't think she would ever ask, but I guess she does things in a round-a-bout way)
I replied with, "Were you referring to me specifically? My appointment was good, it was an old friend from school" She says, "Yes, you...maybe...It might be kind of hard because Aaron might be moving here."
(Two things, I knew then that I had to tell her no, but I was also curious because Aaron seems to be awfully available all the time. Money was a huge issue with her, and being able to support a family...so I had to ask.)
So I say, "Does Aaron have a job?" She replied simply with a "Yes, he does." I knew she didn't want to tell me because she had never brought it up at all. So I ask, "What does he do?" She replied, "server."
(So I'm laughing inside because I'm listing out all of the awesome [sarcasm] qualities this guy has in my head, but I decide not to comment on it. I decide I had better nip it in the bud at this point though.)
I said, "I don't think it's a good idea for me to see the results of your surgery." She asked why not. I told her because she is engaged to someone else. This seemed to make her a little mad. She said, "How is this any different than the last time we were together?" I said "its not, but it has to stop sometime if you're going to marry him." I don't have all of the specifics of the convo, but she asked my why we did it last time then, and commented about how she said that before we even started, but I didn't listen. Which isn't completely true. She kept bringing it up how we couldn't do it now...blah blah blah...and so I asked her, "You want to do me again don't you" and she said yes. That was how it all started. I told her it was because I like it. She said I was wierd because I'm constantly changing how I feel about it. I said, "No I don't, I've known all along it was wrong, that doesn't mean that I don't want you. Are you ok with it now or something?" She replied with. "You can want me...it's nice to have someone who enjoys me physically." I replied by saying, "I do want you, but it's not right. Can I ask you if you are 100% sure that Aaron is right for you?" She said yes he was and asked me why I asked, and then she said she was worried about the sex thing though. I told her I just needed to know. She said she was heading to bed and that was the end of the convo.
So, my thoughts on it. She got mad when I pulled away. She just expected me to be her go-to guy when she needed what was lacking from her relationship. Sorry, but I'm not that guy.
This guy sounds like a real winner. He's 33, no career (waits tables and works as a camp counselor in the summer), he is still really into video games, he can't get it up, he has such a low self esteem that he thinks people give him a look like "What is she doing with him?" ... lol He sounds like a winner to me.
His good qualities... He says nice things to her. That's all that I have heard. She told me one time that he is the first person that ever made her feel like she came first. Well, lets see, he has all those great qualities listed above, no wonder he's telling you all kinds of nice stuff and making you feel so important. He's a loser!
Two months into their relationship and she's already looking outside the relationship to fill her sexual needs with me. That's a great way to start a relationship. Yep, he's perfect for you!
Sorry...I had to get that out...LOL
Ok, I feel like I've started the process to moving on now. I think I've given her a big ole peace of reality too. You can't expect to marry somebody else who fulfills your needs to hear nice things, and continue having sex with your ex because you can't get it from your new guy...
FLoyd The grass is always GREENER over the septic tank.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
and between you and me...my W got the same surgery about a month before she moved out, and while the fake ones look fine the real ones were much better.
Me:34 W:31 d's 5 & 10 M: 5 years, T: 8, Bomb1 3/8/08,#2:3/28/08 Asked 4 D:4/19/08, discovered PA 5/8/08,W moved out 6/30/08 W pregnant by OM: 2/17/08
You are still singing about me??? I AM NOT THAT LOLA!!! LOOK
(*)(*) BOOBS!!! Just ask Jeff, I made him faint a few times last night LMFAO!!!!!
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
This guy sounds like a real winner. He's 33, no career (waits tables and works as a camp counselor in the summer), he is still really into video games, he can't get it up, he has such a low self esteem that he thinks people give him a look like "What is she doing with him?" ... lol He sounds like a winner to me.
His good qualities... He says nice things to her. That's all that I have heard. She told me one time that he is the first person that ever made her feel like she came first. Well, lets see, he has all those great qualities listed above, no wonder he's telling you all kinds of nice stuff and making you feel so important. He's a loser!
This reminds me a little of me when I met my W. I didn't have the ED problem and I was in college and on my way into the USAF, but, I was otherwise similar. The thing is, I treated my W better than anyone ever had treated her including her previous BFs. Of course, I made her feel like she came first, I put her first. I put her ahead of work and school and everything and she loved it for a while. Later I believe it got very unattractive and she started losing respect for me.
Floyd, I'm not sure that you can compete with what he is giving. But, you really don't want to compete with that anyway. It sounds like the more that you GAL, the greater will be the contrast between you and OM and I suspect that she will lose respect for him and start to despise him. Think about it, do you care that a bum on the street respects you? Probably not because you don't respect them. Remember all that we are learning here, clingy needy behavior is unattractive.
So, your mission should you choose to accept it is to back off, stop pursuing and GAL
