Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives Surviving the Big D Archives Too late for DB, #10

Hah. I guess good that he is sorta being a little more considerate now?

He gets the concept of remembering holidays, but not why you're supposed to remember them. I'm glad he doesn't know when my birthday is.

Hi cw68,
just came back from my vacation. Once things get clear, the feeling of being able to be honest to yourself about the person you were married to, is ... funny, revealing, isnt it? No need to defend, hide, excuse, justify their actions. I know I see now what he does for what it is. Nothing more.

There is that guy out there for you. And I bet he will treat you like you should be treated. With respect and love.
K

Small update: got served papers today. STBXH is going off to Hawaii in a couple of weeks with the girl who wasn't a girlfriend. He had the papers served today and tonight he was off to Las Vegas. He's living large and free.

And you know what? I'm very sad for what we lost, for how he made me feel marginalized and disposable, didn't value our marriage and family and the like. But, I'm not sad about losing him.

(((((((cw)))))))

He's managing to make himself look pretty bad. I'm sorry, I think someday he will look back and realize that he was an idiot, but that really matters not right now.

You are a really good person, a good mother, and a good friend. You are going to be fine, well, actually, I think great!

(((cw)))

He is not the guy you married. He doesn't deserve you right now. It's sad to give up the dream of a happy family for the moment, but it's really his loss.

What a DAM.

wow, what a winner he is. This guy is gonna look back and regret what he has done one of these days. Too bad for him but Good on you. Go make your own happiness CW..it's yours for the taking.

I am making my own happiness, there's more and more of it everyday.

I don't know if STBXH is going to ever be able to look back and get it. Definitely right now he's blinded by this girl. I'm doing a background check on her and her XH to see if she and his violence is something that I really should start paying attention to. The more I find out about her, the more I wonder how the heck my STBXH is attracted to her.

She got fired from her job as our dental hygienist last year, sued them and won. Her XH is 32 years older than her, has an ex-step-son the same age as her and one five years younger than her, someone else disliked her enough to call her XH to tell him she was dating, her XH is violent, etc.

I really don't care all that much about my STBXH and her, that's his bed he's making. It does just show how much he's changed and how different he is than just a few years ago. I care, instead, about how this will affect my kids. My gut says that when our house sells the two of them are going to move in together. That affects my kids because we know the survival rate of a relationship with the OW.

AURGH. I just can't believe the choices he continues to make. Even more flabbergasting is that he doesn't understand why we "can't move forward as friends." DAM.

No more DAM for me. I am dating and he's a quality guy with whom I have a ton of fun. It's nice to hang out with someone whom I respect and respects me. That's been missing for far too long.

(((((((cw,))))))



Good for you. Afterall, that's the only thing we really have control over.

No, sadly your H may never see what he's done or at the least not for quite a while. It takes time for them to come to grips with the people they've become.

The best thing that you can do for you and your children is to find happiness where you can and to get on with it, and it sounds as if that's exactly what you intend to do. Good for you!

Take care of yourself.........

Love,
Bethie

Ain't that the truth!

I really wish sometimes our STBXHs would go back to being that way, but frankly I don't see that happening in my stitch either. There's only so much BS we can tolerate!