Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Piecing Our Marriage Back Together Again Intimacy Amongst Imperfection

I have nothing to report as far as progress in the intimacy area. I am back in the bedroom, as my cough has diminished.

My W has been raising the issue of hosting a dance party at our house this summer. I'm not opposed to the idea, but have some reservation. She asked me if I thought it was possible to have people in the home, and still maintain her privacy. I told her that people are naturally curious. I also told her that inviting people into one's home is also inviting them into your life. She has to decide if privacy or potential friendship is a higher priority. I advised her that unless she was willing to be more open about her life, than I didn't think she was ready to host a dance party.

It's interesting though, that this issue keeps coming up for her. Something inside her is stirring.

I also noticed her clearing the air with our dance instructor at our studio dance on Saturday night. My W didn't have a good experience initially two years ago with the studio for various reasons, and has kept a distance until recently. The instructor listened to her and apologized for not realizing what was going on at the time. My W felt good about the conversation, so it will be interesting to see how her relationship with the instructor and studio develops.


CL

Piecing Friends,
I think since the sleeping elsewhere has diminished, and I'm back in the bedroom, this is an opportunity to step it up as I've been advised. I'm going to adopt a mindset of Acting If the sleeping elsewhere is insignificant, and see what happens.

If it resumes a weekly pace again, then I may have to adjust, but for now it's time to focus on partnership, and plant the seeds for intimacy.

CL

I like your direction CL!

Awesome CL.
I'll ber thinking of you. Keep us posted.

JAK

How are you at massages? That might be a good joint venture!!!

Aud, Matilda, and Jak,
I didn't expect the seeds to bear fruit so quickly--my W and I ML last night. It wasn't the torrid scene in "From Here to Eternity" where Burt Lancaster and his lover are rolling around on the beach.

I didn't put up any resistance, which was my plan. There was no kissing. It was straightforward with no foreplay. I think for this time, the less time to think, the better.

My W was mildly intoxicated for some reason. Afterwards, she slept in my arms. I thought I heard her say thank you. I had trouble falling asleep so went back into the guest room to finish the night.

We'll see what is said about it today.

CL

Hi CL,

Congratulations I'm glad you and your W managed to ML, (at last).

I think though on this occasion my thoughts are with your W because by the sounds of it she was very grateful for your efforts. To be honest I think if she was sleeping elsewhere and getting it elsewhere then she would have most likely rejected your advances, so for that I think you should be grateful.

So come on CL brush up on your romantic skills and make more of an effort, for her and for Hawaii.

Lan

I am so proud of you, CL!!!!!

Matilda, Jak, and Lanzo,
My W said that there isn't anyone else she would enjoy traveling with as much as me, so decided that I'm her Hawaii companion. She also thinks that with my job transition, the fact we have the money for the trip, it's now or never for Hawaii. She said that my pattern has been to be reluctant about going on trips, but I have a good time once I'm there. She's going to meet with a travel agent soon.

She's being more mindful of her spending, and is paying extra to pay down her debt. She was worried about her credit rating so bought a copy of her credit report to make sure it was free of problems. Her credit score is excellent, but the number would be higher if her debt was lower.

CL

CL

CL,



I think your wife also wants you to make a fuss over her and make her feel special (romance her). I think you've generated some momentum here grasp the moment keep it going.

Lan