Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Walk-Away-Spouse to the WAWs

Ironic isn't it?

Ok, because bad posted to my thread about this one, I dont feel too bad about high jacking it with my quetion for the WAS.

When a WAS starts to make little gestures toward the LBS (like buying small things they think they will like, creating conversation with LBS, joking with LBS, complimenting LBS, making music cd's for LBS, insisting time and time again that they do not want a R with anyone, including OW) does it indicate that maybe they are starting to miss what they left and might be making the first steps to try and come back home? Wondering what your thoughts on this are.

Hope I did not offend you bad. Thanks for letting me know about your thread, it has been helpful.

I think you need to appreciate the little gestures, but YOU need to work on YOU and become the spouse your WAS would be crazy to leave. Keep reading all you can on relationships....

R2C,

what everyone already thinks your spouse is crazy to be leaving you ? well, everyone except WAS

is it typical to hear your spouse say to everyone (including you) that she has no intention of ever coming back ? does this fall into the "believe none of what they say and half of what they do" ?

Ready2change, thanks for the advice. I guess I should explain a little about myself so that all of the WAS can see where I was and where I am. When he left, I was desperate and needy and only he had the power to make me happy in my mind. That was too much pressure for him and he kept withdrawing from me to have the ability to breathe. The more he withdrew, the more I persued. Then he left while in the state of a sever depression because he could not heal around my neediness.

After left I started to work on changing me to "win" him back. FUnny thing happened though, some of the changes I was trying to make actually happened and I started to become happier. I have been able after a few months of soul searching and therapy, to find me, to find my strength, and to realize I dont need anyone. I am the only one responsible for my happiness and I am doing a fine job of giving it myself.

So now when H sees me, I have a REAL smile on my face, nothing is fake anymore. I have COMPLETELY forgiven him for his actions. I have seen how I contributed to the decline in the R as well, it was not just him or the A. I have lost a significant amount of weight and physically look good, so I now have the confidence that was lacking for so long. I have come to a place where if he does not come back, that's ok. He has his own journey. I still would like for him to, but can be happy either way.

So, when I post my questions, it is in hope that others who have been in his shoes can give me a little insight. I dont want to over read anything, or get my hopes up, or even push him away because I start to think that he is reaching out to me when he may not be. I still keep everything very happy, friendly when we are together, trying not to put any kind of pressure on the moment. We are joking with eachother again and that is nice. Just would like others opinions. Thanks