Journaling why do i let you stay? we are no better then we were 9 months ago, probably worse why don't you try to love me? what have i done so terribly wrong? i am so tired of the sadness, the hurt, the pain
M:38 H:42 T:20 M:19 D:18 S:17 MLC: Sometime in 2007 OW Bomb 1: 12/28/07 OW Online relationship 2: Spring 2009 Told him I wanted D: May 10, 2009 D final: 07/09/11
big fight Saturday night he wanted to ml but I just cant. I can barely stand his hands touching me. All I can think about is him with her, giving her the affection I was begging him for. How long until I can get over this? I was never this unforgiving before this happened. I hate who I am now. I hate looking at every pretty woman when we go places wondering if he is thinking about her. We have not been to the MC for a month and I can tell it is hurting our relationship. I am not going to mention it. I am leaving it up to him now. I am tired of giving.
M:38 H:42 T:20 M:19 D:18 S:17 MLC: Sometime in 2007 OW Bomb 1: 12/28/07 OW Online relationship 2: Spring 2009 Told him I wanted D: May 10, 2009 D final: 07/09/11
Rough night...'talked' from 10 pm to 2 am this morning. He let me know that he was not ready to get married when we married, he only did it so he would not let me down. WTH? That he did not have enough time to live the single life but thinks that I did. Funny. We got married when I was 18 and he was 22. I am so crushed. He cheated on me, I am not sure I want to stay married to him and instead of trying to rebuild our marriage, he is telling me we should not have gotten married when we did. I am crying hysterically and then he says..this is why I never want to talk when you want to, you always get upset and mad at me. He then tells me that he loves me and does not mean he did not want to marry me, just not as soon as we did marry. I barely made it through the day today. I am so exhausted from crying and feeling my heart ache. And now it is time to go to my night job. Please pray for me. I am not sure how much more of this I can take. I just want to give up on my marriage, my life, my happiness.
M:38 H:42 T:20 M:19 D:18 S:17 MLC: Sometime in 2007 OW Bomb 1: 12/28/07 OW Online relationship 2: Spring 2009 Told him I wanted D: May 10, 2009 D final: 07/09/11
I never commented on your thread before, and I see it has been awhile since you posted. Reading through it all, I just hope that things have improved since that last post.
Perhaps your H is in MLC --- certainly saying things similar to what my H said.
Take care.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
