WTH... that is bazzaro... Holy cow. Just the thought of it is making me sick, for you and the om's W. Hopefully it isn't the last senario...
Sick sick sick... If the latter is true, then your W has no conscience. How could she. To look someone in the eye knowing that she screwed around with her H. Makes me so sick.
You are so much better off without her nc.. really, you don't want to be with someone who is capable of doing things like that. She isn't worthy of you.
(((nc)))
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Gee, W has been so much nicer than usual today -- thanking me, being courteous and communicative -- I guess since she's headed to the beach this weekend as a celebration of her upcoming birthday, she's treading lightly.
When I mentioned to my S's that their mother was headed to the beach for the weekend, it came as a big surprise to S7. She hadn't told them. That wasn't wise of W at all. S7 was a bit disappointed that his mother didn't see fit to mention to him about her plans -- not that he was being excluded but that she withheld this information from her own S's. I too was a little surprised to learn this (but if she's really up to no good, as I suspect, it is understandable she would not want to advertise it.)
It was sort of funny when she called this evening to talk to our S's before bedtime. I thought we had long put this all behind us, but then W made the mistake of mentioning she was having dinner while she was talking to them (at 8:30 PM, mind you) and S7 asked her point blank, "So who are you eating dinner with?"
W didn't skip hardly a beat (to her credit) and said, "Nobody. I'm here alone."
But S7 wasn't deterred, "I hear someone else there -- who is it? Who are you eating with, Mommy?" Meanwhile I'm looking at S7 and gesturing to him to cease and desist, because W was going to think I put him up to this.
W reiterated, "No. I'm here alone."
I said, "S7, it's a restaurant -- of course there are other people in a public restaurant."
For the record, it just grates on my soul to have to help run interference for W's indiscretions. A part of me believes strongly against deflecting the consequences of the infidel's own actions. But if it helps keep S7's relationship with his mother from being strained, and because I feel my S's do need their mother, I will do what I must, whether I like it or not. Lesser of evils and all, please understand.
After the call, S7 started to tell me he didn't think his mother was telling the truth, but I interrupted him and said he needed to not question or challenge his mother ever again like that. "If she gives you an answer to your question, accept it. Don't ever challenge her word again. She is your mother."
I can bet I'm going to get flack for this when W gets back. I'm not worried however -- I've about gotten used to this by now and I don't give a rip anymore what W thinks any longer. I've had quite enough of putting up with W's pretenses. Yeah, I'll defend her to a point for the sake of our S's, but between me and her, this person she's become is a sham, someone I don't want anything to do with.
You are truly a wonderful Father. A lot of men would be bad-mouthing the W or H if they were the ones who got cheated on. Its isn't right, but emotions take the best of people in those situations, You are really a role model for people to follow.
let her say what she wants, it really doesn't matter. All that is important is that YOU know you didn't bate him, he has his own thoughts and can express them when he wants. He's smarter than she thinks.
You are a sweetheart, and I am sad that she wasn't able to come to her senses.
Take care my friend.
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
I second what lwb said. What you did was the selfless thing. I know that it's not always easy but it's really what's in your son's best interest. Besides, kids no matter what age will eventually figure it all out for themselves.
I agree witht he rest NC.. You handled things with grace and dignity once again. The high road always is best but not as easy it seems. You're setting a good example for your boys.. Good job.
I certainly don't feel like I've taken any "high road". Not at all. I'm tired and disgusted. Last year at this time I was still smarting from the excruciating pain of the betrayal, and still weeping at times in front of my S's. I was not a positive role model for them, and that would still cast my current stance far less than perfect in anyone's eye's.
Even now, while I am standing calm and even-keeled outwardly, inwardly I am seething with frustration -- I want to scream. I want to tell W to just look at what this is doing to all of us -- her son shouldn't have to feel like his mother is hiding from him and concealing the truth from him. My sons love their mother and should be able to trust her, but she refuses to see what she is still doing to them.
No, I'm angry and disgusted as h*ll at her, and I am sorrowful for the continuing pain she's bringing to all of us. I am beginning to despise and, dare I say it, hate her for the poor role model she's displaying to our sons. Why the frakk can't she see that! I hate being put in this position, to defend the honor of my children's mother, when she refuses to live up to it. I shouldn't have to do this!
Right now part of me is hurting from S3 deciding he wanted to stay with W tonight. I picked up my S's from school this afternoon and stopped by the house to drop off some things. W happened to be there (I suspect she had the day off after her wonderful weekend get-away at the beach.) When S3 saw her he announced to me he wanted to stay there with W.
W asked me was it okay with me if S3 stayed tonight. How could I say no? I acquiesced -- I hated to do so but I won't force myself on S3. S7 was happy to stay with me, even without his little brother. He could tell I was a little bit hurt though. S3 still needs his mother, he's still so young. He still is too innocent to understand how his mother is being deceptive with us, or to recognize the hurt from it.
Even now, while I am standing calm and even-keeled outwardly, inwardly I am seething with frustration -- I want to scream
I appear calm as well. Inside...not so much.
Wow. I saw you used the word 'disgusted' about your W. Sadly, that word would describe how I feel about my H.
I was *just* thinking that a year ago today, I was about 1 month post bomb, still a walking shell of a person, consumed by pain. This year is much better. But I have this feeling it will be a painful road ahead.
Children are so innocent, its so sad that they even have to choose between you. All because of her selfishness.
You have grown, you may not think so, but you are so much stronger than you were. Of course its still painful, that just doesn't go away, time will heal you, I promise.
Its wonderful that your reconize that your S3 needed to be with his mom, they don't know, they don't really know what is going on. His is young, I know this may have made you feel bad, but don't take it personally, he does love you and need you as much as his mom. They go through different stages.
Im thinking of you nc.. you will pull through this.
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
