Men have cooties!!!! Wait.. wait... the idea of a 'relationship' has cooties!!!..
Hmmm.. wait..wait.. The only thing that makes sense is to let this door close before opening anything else. I'd say I'm very emotionally cautious. If a guy is nice to me, I stiffen because I've been programmed that all they want is sex (based on my childhood). I have a lot of behaviors to 'unlearn' which will make life much easier and enjoyable.
My first objective will be to stop worrying too much! (Where's a magic kumquat wand when you need it??)
As you know two of my kids are going off to college at the end of this month. One for his senior year, the other as a freshman. The younger one and I haven't been able to spend that much time together because he's out enjoying his summer freedom.
We're going shopping for necessary supplies today. When we talked about the date, he said, "We'll do it Sunday." I was great with that idea. He kept saying, "Mom, we'll do it SUNDAY." Granted, I had that pesky head injury, but I knew when Sunday was. With a grin and smirk, he wrote it down as he was talking, "This Sunday, we'll shop." I nodded and then smiled with rainbow radiance as I read what he wrote... SON-Day.
On Friday my D4 and D6 and I went on a walk in the woods. D6 bounded ahead on her own, while D4 walked with me slowly, holding my hand...and said "You're my favorite Mom, Mom. I can't lose you in the woods".
I look at men now.. sorta.. something I haven't done since I met him... geez... 26 years ago. I honestly can't believe I am this age. Perhaps I've been in limbo so long I don't know how to tell time. I think.. "Who would want me?" Man oh man, who would I want? Approaching a relationship with boundaries, expectations, communicating rather than solely the intangible sense of love conquers all is a concept.
I look at women differently now. Last time I was in the market, I was 25. For the past 17 years, I have avoided any type of relationship with women other than W. Now I am enjoying all my relationships with other women. Sex is the last thing on my mind. Gypsy, I know there is a man out there for you. Just enjoy the ones you meet. Keep your boundaries.....
Keep enjoying every moment....practice flirting, helps boost the ego...
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Sweet Gypsy. You DO have a magic kumquat wand. You just need to learn how to wield its magical powers. Takes some practice.
I agree with Ready... get out their and flirt. Take it as a role you've landed in a play. You're this fabulous, beautiful aurburn haired siren and the men drop at your feet when you give them a coy glance and dazzling smile. One day you should dare yourself to wink at a handsome stranger. ;-)
Right now you have no idea how amazingly sexy and beautiful and engaging you are - your life has been full of things that no girl and/or women should have to endure. Give yourself time to heal, but KNOW you will be blissfully happy someday soon. You will. I promise you.
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
I agree with Ms Imp & Ready, keep your boundaries, practice flirting & just talking to men.
I think your new "abode" sounds wonderfully peaceful & calm.
Hugs
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
All this time I thought I was struggling to let go, be a better person.
These past few days have been a mourning period. Today after getting a note from my lawyer about a note from his lawyer I've been fuming, feeling anger. I'm tired and worn down from this process. Binge eating doesn't help either. Ugh.
