I guess I was looking for something dramatic but you told me what I already knew. It just seems like the "being there" is not much. I suppose somewhere down the road only Jeff can tell me if, and how, it will have mattered.
More than being present, it means to actively help break the cycle. If someone is in a depression you have to help them MOVE through the world. Take them out places, do things, plan things.
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But it gets lonely just being there sometimes, you know?
I had a good time hangin' with FaithIsBelieving yesterday afternoon / evening. We went to Vasquez Rocks which is where several episodes of the original Star Trek series was filmed and lot's of other 'alien planets'.
Got home around 10:30pm and W was there as was D12. W was talking on the phone to someone but didn't try to hide it or anything but she did end the conversation shortly after I was there.
She used the house phone instead of her cell so I guess it wasn't anyone she needed to be secret about.
She gave me a smile and said 'hello' and I just gave her a small smile and a 'hi' then went and talked to D12.
So, W starts to leave and tells me that D17 has the other car and should be home by 11pm. Then she puts on her 'cute' smile and says she's going to take the Prius to go home because she's too tired to walk home and it's late, and if I need it just come and get it because she isn't going anywhere Sunday so it'll be there all day"
I just say "o k, bye"
This morning no contact. When I went into 'her room' this morning to get the bird from it's night time cage she had one of our travel books on the bed opened to the section on Hawaii. Wonder if she's planning a trip or was just bored.
I guess I was looking for something dramatic but you told me what I already knew. It just seems like the "being there" is not much. I suppose somewhere down the road only Jeff can tell me if, and how, it will have mattered.
More than being present, it means to actively help break the cycle. If someone is in a depression you have to help them MOVE through the world. Take them out places, do things, plan things. Not possible. But thanks for the recommendations just the same. Really.
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But it gets lonely just being there sometimes, you know?
Well I just went for a walk and passed by the house where W is staying. As I was approaching the house this skinny, kind of weird looking guy walks out from the side gate, goes to his pickup which has a lot of junk in the back, planting pots, barb wire, a folding chair and other junk, and he gets a big grey feather out of the truck and goes back through the gate.
He's wearing dirty denim shorts and is kind of dorky looking.
Maybe he's her new 'soulmate'. I asked D12 if there was anybody at mom's when she's been there and she said "Oh, one time her friend Mike was there" but she couldn't even remember what he looked like so it was insignificant to her.
I was going to text her and ask who this guy was that I saw, but thought better of it.
I've seen this truck parked around there before, but I thought it was the neighbors. I don't know if it's been there overnight.
Maybe he's just some kind of weird friend she's met through the spirituality crap she does. He really looks dorky.
I guess I should wake up and realize that eventually she'll be doing something with someone else.
Ouch, this is hurting. I need to let her go. Maybe this will actually help me.
Who knows, maybe some 'cleansing' ritual for the garden. I looked up the phone number she called last night and it's a landscaping contractor. That would fit this persons profile.
So she's got this 'friend' who's a landscaping contractor. Spiritual landscaping I guess. I know that the person who owns the house she lives in has a guy friend who has done all kinds of rock sculptures and other stuff for he so maybe this is the same guy.
Could be they just hang out together as friends. I know I have women who are just friends.
Rather than wonder, I walked down the street to W's house and rang the doorbell.
She came to the door but wouldn't let me in. So we stood outside and I asked her who the guy was that has been over here every day?
I said "Are you dating???"
W: No, I'm married so I can't date
Me: Oh really, why would that matter now?
W: Right now he's just a friend, he's a nice guy and I like hanging around with him, that's all.
Me: Oh, a friend with benefits?
W: No, nothing like that. We just hang out and talk a lot.
Me: I'm having a hard time believing you.
She is looking at me with no emotion except a slight bit of nervousness.
Me: So you want this to become a relationship? You're pursuing this guy?
W: No, I'm not trying to make it into anything. He's just a friend.
Me: Then why don't you let me come in and introduce myself?
W: Because I don't want to deal with the issues right now.
Me: You know, I would prefer you just tell me if you're getting into a relationship so I don't have to keep guessing.
She doesn't say anything
I decided I half believe her. I was looking at her and she looks like she's aged 5 years. The woman I loved is gone. I don't have any idea who this person is.
She says she's going to be around all day, she's just laying in the grass drinking a beer with her 'friend'.
