Hi Run, Yes she does. Journaling.... She's still being wonderfully selfish...she went and had her car cleaned for the trip and is getting together money for the trip. She's in a bit of a panic because she has to buy the food and she doesn't have any cash yet. I asked for some dinner money for the kids and she handed me 2 bucks and said that's all she had left. Now I want to say here that I do get paid Friday but most of my check is going towards bills in such. We live paycheck to paycheck because of our failed attempts to budget. Id be willing but she wouldn't. So pretty soon I quit asking her to help with the bills. We have NO savings so we scrape by. I set out the bill list and wrote on it please help me pay these when you get back from your trip. Its irritating as hell to hear her plan stuff and yet I'm feeding PBand J sandwiches to the kids and wondering how to get bills paid. And she wants me to move out???
Gman Me 40 W 30 kids B 11 B 10 D 8 Been here off and on since 06. PA Confirmed Dec 08.. With God, anything is possible. Do or do not there is no try. Sometimes you have to roll the hard six...
More... She continues to get ready for her trip. I wonder if this will be beneficial to us or not. Her getting away for a week.... (If she IS only going with friends) She told me to today that she would help with the bills once she got back. I wish I could believe that. I wish I could believe half of the stuff she says but I cant. Sorry dear reader...I'm having a mighty OFF day today.
Gman Me 40 W 30 kids B 11 B 10 D 8 Been here off and on since 06. PA Confirmed Dec 08.. With God, anything is possible. Do or do not there is no try. Sometimes you have to roll the hard six...
Quite honestly, I wouldn't want my spouse working in a bar. For people who don't have a super strong sense of boundries that would be waaaay too much temptation.
Has the D actually been filed or are you guys just in the early stages? Don't move out. If she's unhappy let her move out. You do not want to do anything that could affect custody. Perhaps she can move in with the guy friend. But can you make the bills on your own? If not you might want to consider looking for a more inexpensive living arrangement for you and the kids.
I know you are DBing and want to keep your marriage together and that should be your goal, but also start considering how you will be able to financially survive if reconciliation doesn't occur.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Run, Early stages. No I'm not moving out. Yes if the bills are caught up...which I'm trying, I can handle it. My job pays ok.
Journaling... Last night she came home from work. Self medicated but not drunk. We made small talk but later it turned into a tickle, poke fest. We goofed around some but never took it further. She had said this was the last time for a week that she would be sleeping on something comfortable and snuggled down on the couch.( Her and her friends are camping near the track in tents) I almost said that she could sleep in bed with me but I didn't. Today dawned and I helped her pack and get things ready. Later she went to the bar where she works and traded in some change and got last minute things. She had said her mom wouldn't even speak to her. She told me that she was the devils spawn again because she's going. Her and her mom where very close. She used to emulate her mom in look and attitude but ever since she started hanging out with her Bff and emulates her instead. When it came time for her to leave D wouldn't let her go. D cried her eyes out. How do you feel now honey? I got 2 long hugs and even a kiss on the lips..... She told D that she could call her when ever, and whispered the same to me. And she's off.........
Gman Me 40 W 30 kids B 11 B 10 D 8 Been here off and on since 06. PA Confirmed Dec 08.. With God, anything is possible. Do or do not there is no try. Sometimes you have to roll the hard six...
Rough good nights.... I had begun to put the kids to bed when D started to cry about missing mommy. Our boys did there best to cheer her up but in the end she wanted me to call Mommy. So I did. Things seemed to calm done some and later she called me back. She said what D did was breaking her heart. W had also said that Id be getting a phone call today from MIL stating that she has disowned my W because she went to Michigan for the race and because of what she is doing to our family. MIL said that W is an unfit mother and she deserves to have her kids taken away. I have yet to get that call or confirm it. Then she made an interesting comment... she asked me not to take the kids away from her. I was dumbstruck. After a minute I said that I really don't want to talk about this right now and that this wasn't the time.
WOW! I don't know what to think.
D again wanted to call Mommy before they went to the water park with their church group so I called. Voicemail. Later about 10:30am she called back and the kids were already gone. She had said she did a lot of jello shots last night but didn't get drunk. Her friends deal with there issues by spending time in the bottle. Hell her BGF bought over 100 bucks in alcohol just for this trip.
We made some more some talk and she said to have the kids call once they get back. My only wish is that somewhere in her mind...she is thinking about us while she is gone....
Last edited by Gman3388; 08/15/0803:00 PM.
Gman Me 40 W 30 kids B 11 B 10 D 8 Been here off and on since 06. PA Confirmed Dec 08.. With God, anything is possible. Do or do not there is no try. Sometimes you have to roll the hard six...
Well, give her a lot of leash. Be HAPPY. Don't say a lot about your personal life. You can mention something super fun you are doing with the kids so she can feel even worse about missing out on a great time with her family.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
I try Run, but tonight I faltered some. She has started to call me honey, and hun again. We were talking about the kid's day and what she was doing. I was quiet. Even a little bummed out. She picked up on it and asked what was wrong. I said nothing it wasn't important right now. She asked again and even a third time but I didn't give. She sounded upset because I wouldn't tell her. WELL HONEY WHERE SHOULD I START...... Ugh!
Gman Me 40 W 30 kids B 11 B 10 D 8 Been here off and on since 06. PA Confirmed Dec 08.. With God, anything is possible. Do or do not there is no try. Sometimes you have to roll the hard six...
I did text her and said I missed her. Yes its against the rules of DB but I figured since she has taken to calling me honey and such it wouldn't hurt. She called me again last night. She said she was going to bed and she wanted to call me first. HUH? anyways throughout the day yesterday we were texting back and forth. Small talk and joking around really. Id like to point out that all calls and texts and such were from her first. (except once which I just described) In the past when she's done this she has always gotten nicer and the pet names returned. Unless she's doing this out of guilt I wonder where we are heading next....
Gman Me 40 W 30 kids B 11 B 10 D 8 Been here off and on since 06. PA Confirmed Dec 08.. With God, anything is possible. Do or do not there is no try. Sometimes you have to roll the hard six...
