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I'm glad things are feeling better Phoenix. Good for you for standing up for what you believe in! Just keep walkin' the path brother.

So much going on these days that I don't have a lot of time to focus on the problems. I worry some days if I'm doing enough, however I also know that I am responsible for me, so there is only so much I can do. Right now I feel that even if things do "go south", I have done the right things and can answer with a clear conscience. There are so many that are surprised at what I have done and what I have put up with. They don't even know half of it and I'm fine with that. I feel when it comes to the time when we sit back and look how this all plays out, I'll be okay.

I think we bury ourselves in activities subconsciously so we don't have time to deal with the M problems. At least for me I believe that is true. It is also where I get my WOA, from people who don't have the baggage of an R with me so it's easy for them to give a compliment.

Phoenix, you're focusing too much on going south. Quit. It's not healthy for you or the sitch.

What do you smile about? what makes your eyes gleam?

Yes, I do need to refocus these days. So concerned about what could/should be happening in and out of the R. As you say, doing so profits me nothing. On the up side this week I will be apart of a few events, at which I will receive recognition. Of those, W will be at one.

Recognition can mean validation ... for your hard work at your job (or other stuff you do in your life outside the M), and maybe your W will see another side of you that she forgot existed. Just try and play it cool, enjoy the ride for what it is now, and continue being patient. I would say don't focus too much, or you might become obsessed on small matters. Just a thought!

Anyway, I am off to veg out in front of the TV. Don't have to feel guilty 'cause H ain't here. Hahahaha!

^^^ bump up ^^^

Just wondering if there has been any impact on your W's attitude since the passing of the P? So many people have commented on how he is now with his W, and I wonder if it makes some think about these things. Makes me want to try harder, anyway.

"How sweet is the assurance, how comforting is the peace that come from the knowledge that if we marry right and live right, our relationship will continue, notwithstanding the certainty of death and the passage of time. Men may write love songs and sing them. They may yearn and hope and dream. But all of this will be only a romantic longing unless there is an exercise of authority that transcends the powers of time and death."

--Gordon B. Hinckley, "The Marriage That Endures", Ensign, Jul 2003, 2–7

There seems to be a little change, some nights she seems almost "Non-alien", but then we're right back to "same old...". Also, there seem to be a little more interest in some of the things I do, an even an interest in family. However as I said that can change like the wind also. Not looking forward to the 14th, not sure what to do.

About the 14th--do what you want to do Phoenix.

If you're feeling like it's back to the 'same old', do the 180 and stand firm against the wind change.

Just sayin'.

That's a hard one, Phoenix! I guess, just play it by ear! Get a card that's not too mushy ... maybe a funny one, and make her dinner (include the children) so that there's no romantic pressure. Sorry, that's about the best I can come up with right now. My H won't be home on VD, nor the weekend after. So, not sure what's going to happen with us. Why do we have these ridiculous celebrations????? I have never been one for VD ... I would rather my H make a romantic gesture when he is inspired to do so, no matter what the day is (which, btw, has not happened very often in our 21 years of M ... sigh!).

Take care.

Has W done anything for you on VD?
Is there a pattern that she gets 'nice' around the time she's expecting something from you?
It's your choice, but I say no card, verbal acknowledgement only.
She needs a dose of how life would be without you. She doesn't have a clue!