Ahh.. I've found a trigger for emotional eating.. when one of my kids is hurt, physically or emotionally. My 18 year old son was told today that a friend of his died in a car accident last night. The kid just graduated from high school and was bound for college, one of those really great kids.
I feel for my son, and the boy's family. I let WTS know about the tragedy, worrying only momentarily if it was something that my son should reach out to his father for. Maybe it was the right thing, maybe it was the wrong thing.. I figure, anything to help my son through this difficult process.
I cannot imagine nor want to be in the position ever to know that pain and loss.
My heart breaks for your son and his friend's family. It is achingly painful to imagine how much grief they must be feeling. Would your son consider going to a C for this?
Tragic. Bleck.
Love you. Now put down the Haagen-Dazs.
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
I turned away from the potential S'mores. I've gone from a houseful of kids to quiet. My daughter went with her cousins for a few days and will return when it's time for her lesson. She's auditioning for a fall show a week from Monday and realllly wants to be prepared. We missed this week's lesson because of a mother-daughter meltdown (I think we were both tired).
We've had continual thunderstorms and the dog is like Peter Pan's shadow, anxious with my every movement. I'm thinking doggy drugs are in order, the poor thing. Consequently I'm not sure about what to do as far as getting out and about.. like seeing my first movie alone, if she's this anxious.
I have to remember that my focus on other's needs kept me isolated and free from having to try new things. Yet I'm tired from all the late nights (we weren't going to bed until midnight) and waking up early.
At one point I remember how much I loved having the time alone, free of stress and anxiety. That I didn't have to worry about how much I disappointed WTS on regular basis. Being tired can warp my way of thinking, so perhaps just resting and relaxing is a good thing to do.
Ahh.. the oldest is home. Perhaps I'll entice him with dinner!
Hi ((((((((((Gypsy K)))))))))), I'm so very sorry about your son's friend and the loss they suffered.
How's the thunderstorms ? the dog ? dinner with your son ?
When you called me back I was on my phone, & fighting fierce traffic on the freeway. Sorry I didn't get back to you. I left C with my head swimming. I got home, & went straight to sleep.
When I woke, I vegged in front of the TV until the Olympics started. The swimming feeling is starting to come back, so it must be time for bed.
love & hugs
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
I dont post to you often ( if at all ) but do follow along with your thread . It is tragic that your sons friend lost his life and I think its a reminder to us all how lucky we are to have experienced a lot more life. Most of us here are going through tough times but there is a shiny side and thats without the lows you would never realy appreciate the highs.
My son is just waking up. I haven't seen him since yesterday when he was reeling from the untimely death of a friend. A quick post before while he becomes fully conscious.
When I called WTS on his cell, he sounded happy to hear from me.. that tone in his voice that tugs a chord deep inside. I told him the facts, listened to what he was going to do and said goodbye, hanging up as fast as I could. The rare times I initiate a call, I get off like a cat on a hot tin roof except for that one exception.
His tone has lingered in the recesses of my mind. I woke up thinking about him, his current life and the resonance of his voice. I've eaten 5 S'mores since last evening. I'd gone a full week without any processed sugar. I'm learning my triggers.. my children in pain; any hope, however faint, of caring on his part.
Ugh... I can only control my actions. Talking to him leaves me emotionally shaky, even though it's not as bad as before. It's back to texts and emails.
Hello angelface. 5 S'mores isn't too bad. I just had 3 Oreos with my coffee. As long as we can stop before it becomes a binge.
I hated reading the way WTS's voice made you feel.
I haven't heard what you're doing for Gypsy. The hospital? For fun? It seems to be all about the kids (which is what a mommy does, of course), but I think you need some distractions from the ick. You need to rediscover how exquisite and beautiful life can be...
I love you so much and want you to feel joyful.
Give your gorgeous son a big hug for me.
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
Gypsy, its so sad, but I think my H was checking out too when OW came along, and boom! that sealed the deal. H was going through the motions, but here's the deal, and my complaint: He never ever told me he was so unhappy, never once tried to fix, just ran. And ran fast.
I felt the same way. I mean, when you get hit with a ton of bricks and the dump truck drives away it gets your attention!
I think of what he would say years back about my online chatting and it fell on deaf ears. I had such a wall up, nothing could get through. Would it have been different if I'd never said anything about an online friendship that broke his heart? Would it have been different if I'd been able to tell him how his absences and emotional withdrawal hurt me, that feeling like he needed me made him shun me, that I felt abandoned and didn't even know it?
The thing is.. he did try in his way, I did try in my way. His way made me defensive, that I was always in the wrong. My way made him defensive that he would "never put his crap out for anyone to hear." Houston, we have a failure to communicate.
A friend told me when this first happened that men never leave unless they've found someone else. That there's no reason big enough to leave until that.
When someone has on their running shoes, nothing you say matters. It's all about their journey. The trick is not to get caught up in how they blame you.
The best we can do is look to the horizon, not the dust from their heels. See the world around us with new eyes and start our new path. They know where to find us.
Awww.. you are so sweet and caring.. thank you for always being a ray of light in my day! You know, I've never met anyone so enthralled with Oreos.. what is your favorite? Double Stuff used to do it for me. Have you considered upgrading to Double Chocolate Milano.. they are evil incarnate!
Aggghhh.. that must be the sugar monster talking... bad Gypsy.. bad!
The past two days I've had massive time alone. My daughter is away, my sons are busy. Tonight everyone is gone and I'm the sole occupant of the house, along with our dog.
I realize almost everything I do is based on someone else's approval. My life is waiting for gold stars. I think this is my new stuckishness.. something to let go, some way new to grow.
The good thing is I got to spend some downtime with the boys.. no big talks, no Mommishness.. just hanging out and enjoying their company will watching the Olympics.
I do walk around the house, saying goodbye to it.. and then imagine what my new abode will be like, just a little scared.
