Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis My Heart is Breaking #7

I will pray for you this evening. You take care and remember God is right there beside you.

A bottle of wine sounds really good right now & a good cry!!!

I'm just in such shock! I just can't believe it. I had what I thought were signs!

Thank you!!!!!

nlt,
Ouch, ouch, ouch! The nightmare gets worse! I'm soooo sorry to hear about this development!! I don't have any wise advice beyond the obvious--take care of yourself and pray a lot, and lean on trustworthy friends as needed--but I really feel for you, and I'm praying for you to be healed emotionally and experience peace.

Hugs and peace,
Dawn

Nit, the wine and cry sounds good for now. Hope it helps you sleep.
Don't feel bad about the signs, you are not the first to have thought this and you certainly won't be the last.We cling to anything at times.
I thought after 30 years I would have been able to spot an affair!
You will get through this and it may be in an awlful way the kickstart to your new and wonderful life. That doesn't help right now but in time it might. Take care.

Dawn & naej!

Thank you so much for your support! As close as we were I really thought he would come back. H told me that I was using him, well he has no ideal but he is about to be used big time, I think.

It's just a really hard time for me right now. Worse than ever before.

Thanks again!

NLT I have been thinking about you and this is what came to me this morning when I awoke. This may be bold and out there, but I will just throw it out there. I am not saying do this just maybe ponder this.

I have always tried to be the better person in life meaning take the high road vs getting back at someone etc. I was thinking if this happened to me what would I do how would I react.

Now again this is what I would do. I would find h's address at work and buy a congrats card and address to him and send to his work.

Short message inside something like:

Hi H, I recieved news that you are married now. I just wanted to personally send my congrats to you. I am sorry our m didn't work out for us, but I am happy that you have finally found what you were looking for. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy. OW is lucky to have found a special person like you, I know I was married to you for 15 years.

Best of luck to both of you, Love NLT

For me, it would put closer to my life as well as let h know that there was no bad feelings between us. It makes you the better person.

This may not be your style and not for you, but I just threw it out there.

You have no other choice but to move on now NLT.

Oh Nit I really feel for you and I know nothing will take away your pain right now.

It will believe me get easier and you will accept this (please do accept this) do not go on thinking like some that it won't last and he will be back de dah de dah.... You can waste so much of your life that way.IMO

I am not saying it will last but it could and do you want to put your life on hold for 5,10+ years just in case.
My x rem and never told me or his kids! after telling us he had no intention of ever remarrying. A friend found out from local gossip and wrote to my SIL so he could tell my d and then all my childern came down one day to tell me. I think I always had one of them with me for about a week after that, such was their concern for me. We (my x and I) had grown up together and since early teens always been together so I was devastated becos I had believed him and thought the A would fizzle out after all thats what we are told 6mths -2yrs max. Affairs don't last, they never m them etc.

So much as it hurts right now this is your chance to put the past in the past and slowly find you and begin to live again. and you will.

Please don't take as long as me to do it though.
((((()))))))

Glamgirl,

Thank you for that. I'm not sure I could do this but I will think about it for sure.

Right now I'm not responding to him at all. The paralegal told me there is nothing in that contract to say that I have to prove to him I refinanced the house so I'm just not going to respond. He will have to call me to get me to do anything. He knows who we financed the house with he can call them & give them his SS# & they will tell him it has been paid off. I went with another mortgage company.

I know I've got to move on, but right now I'm having a really hard time! I'm still in shock & can't believe it.

Thank you & you are right nothing can take the pain away right now. I'm so devastated. I still don't think it will last but do I want him back after he did this & moved so quickly. Well part of me does & part of me doesn't. The part that does want him back knows that this is MLC's he fits that book I'm reading perfectly.

A M can't be based on lies & according to my SIL she believes it is.

I'm so sorry your X didn't tell you & you found out the way you did.

I'm going to try to move on but right now I'm not in any shape to do it.