Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy trying to be patient and strong

Maybe it is just the mood I am in but I wouldn't have let him know his wallet was there. Let him sweat for a bit and oh heaven forbid the witch might have to pay!! oh my!(Wait that is lions and tigers and bears! oh my!...I will get that thrown in there somehow)

Hugs.

kat

Thanks for the hugs!!! I'm starting to calm down now finally!!! Yeah, if I had known he needed it for a date with OW (aka: witch), it def. would have gone missing for a while (well, I like to think I would have done that anyway!) Karen

Oh sister, I hear ya. When H and I were in NastyVille (very mean to each other last fall), he would flirt RIGHT in front of me, to get my reaction. I couldn't believe how gross he looked to me, and to other women, by the way.

He has since admitted he did that to upset me, but still, I know what you mean. I *so* know what you mean.

H is constantly in my space at the house too.

I really did tonight. He def. has the single life most of the time now. I guess I'm a little jealous, but I really do enjoy being a married woman, being with the kids, and having the tight bond that we have the three of us that H isn't really a part of. So it depends on when you ask me I guess! Karen

LWB, I just don't get why your H did that, flirt in front of you. My H has been acting like that too acting like some girl on TV is hot and a couple times now he leaves out the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition out on the couch for me to see. At first I got irritated, but now I'm thinking it is to upset me. But the ? is why? You know I don't do anything that he should be upset at me--take care of his kids, faithful wife, pretty much always nice to him, etc. If he is trying to make me upset, I don't understand why???? Why was your H upset with you? I don't understand that either!!! Karen

Oooohhh! Ooooooh! Me, Me! I want to be the one that throws water on the witch and have her say "I'm meltinnnngggg!" (Sorry I couldn't resist )

Because to H, I am the main part of the marriage failing. I pushed away H, made him feel less than a man, etc, etc, and basically pushed him into OW's arms. I am at fault. He was mad at me for that. He wanted to prove to me (and mostly to himself) that he is attractive.

During this whole journey, it constantly puzzles me why H is angry, sad, mad, jealous, burdened, worried, etc, etc. Those should be all MY feelings!!!

Karen and LWB,

I think that all of the WAS follows the same script: "I'm leaving you because you drove me to it. It's all your fault. If you had _______ or hadn't ___________ this wouldn't have happened." The WAS just has to fill in the blanks.

I would be the first to admit that I contributed to the problem, but it's amazing how the WAS did nothing to contribute to the problems. Sometimes my H will slip and said that he is at fault also, but then he conveniently forgets that he ever said that.

Yoyo, totally agree.

I wasn't perfect, far from it. But never once did I want to/nor step out of the marriage, at all. Once H did that, he made it even worse.

And yes, yoyo, H will step out of the fog, and admit he did things wrong too. But then he doesn't remember either. Typical. He feels bad the affair hurt me, but I swear he still justifies it.

My W had a disconnect. She would tell me that she was as much at fault for the breakup of our M as I was, but then wouldn't work to fix it for the longest time. She did do a bit of history rewriting, telling me that she hadn't loved me for the longest time, maybe not ever. But that was just her trying to convince herself. She still doesn't understand herself (or won't tell me) why she felt so committed to leaving, even when she knew that doing so was making her unhappy. So when the fog lifted it was a bit of a surprise to us both.