Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? 2 steps forward, 3 back

You are doing a good job. How did it go when he dropped them off?

He came late and the person was already here. I thought he might be trying to pull something but he came dressed in shorts so I asked about work and he said he was not working that day, was working Saturday instead. I usually wouldn't have gotten the explanation. So I was curious what he did that day. Hopefully not more D paperwork! Anyway, when he came in the guest jumped up and put her hand out and introduced herself, said she was a retired teacher with FBI clearance, would take good care of the kids and was a friend of mine. He kinda laughed and shook her hand. Then he confirmed a few things about the babysitter and money, and said goodbye. I didn't even say it back I don't think. Usually he barely forces it out, this time it was like he wanted a goodbye. In a way it is almost like roles reversed a little bit.

He asked to switch days over the weekend for this week. I texted him no. Then Monday he called me at work and wanted them for the weekend to go camping. I said no. So now he says I am inflexible. I thought about it and agreed. He thanked me. Then called later and said he was wrong, he wants them next weekend. Rollercoaster! I swear.

I am sending in my receipt of acceptance that I rec'd with the divorce papers, saying I got them. It has been 3 weeks, I was waiting. I crossed out everywhere on the paper where it said the "D" word, I couldn't help it. I wanted to write on it I don't want this but didn't, just wrote I rec'd it. They'll get the idea I am sure.

H called yesterday morning. Surprised me, as the caller ID had my name on it for some reason. He said people have been telling him that. Anyway, he was asking me advice on credit cards. He doesn't have one and since he has little money is now thinking it would be a good idea for an emergency like the car breaking down. I told him I would research it for him. My tub was dripping bad the other night and I texted him about it. He says he will come over to fix it over the weekend. So I figure we are helping each other and I would like to keep that going. But for the most part I am still avoiding contact when possible. I am having my oil tank finally replaced next week, he is offering to pay possibly half, says he won't have it right away but in a few weeks perhaps. I told him I appreciated any help he would give, as he isn't required to. I am now on vacation, home hanging out with the kids for a week and a half or so. Its nice not to have the day to day stress even for a little bit. Still not sleeping though, not sure if the new meds are contributing to it. Got up before 2 last night, usually it is just before 3. At least now I can try to take an afternoon nap. Just taking one day at a time....

Just finished re-reading divorce remedy as well as the no nagging guide for women, both by michelle. Helps me to feel empowered.

H is supposed to come over to day to fix the leaking tub-which yesterday stopped leaking. Didn't think I should call to say never mind though. Going to try and stay away from him while he is here. It is sooo hard.

H came over to fix the leak. Didn't have too much conversation. He was in his work clothes, I asked and he said he did work. D8 asked about the GF, he said she was at work. I groaned to myself. Thought that's why he is here, because she isn't home so he could spare the time for his family. A thought I did not speak mind you... But I thanked him when he left, and I warmed up a bowl of chili for him which he ate, and then told me he took a cheese stick as well from the fridge. Most of the time I sat outside reading Fire your Shrink.
Now I am just bored to death....I would have been happy being bored with him beside me, but not now. We would have found something to do. Now I find myself alone...naturally. (sorry, couldn't resist.)

You are doing really well HSSweetheart. I know it is difficult.

Thank you. Today I went for a morning walk. Since H left I have lost 35 lbs. I feel better than I ever have so I figured not only do I want to stay this way but I also have lots of stress and time on my hands so I have been walking 3-4 times a week, 4 miles each time. H has walked for over 3 yrs. H finally got word that I was walking and questioned me. He asked why. I said does it matter? He said he didn't mean anything by it and I said I didn't mean that to sound bad. I went early this morning and when he called he was there doing his walk. In over a month I have luckily not run into him and GF there yet. He proceded to tell me about some dvd he bought, etc, and we talked about the kids schedule this week. I try not to say too much. He always sounds happy which just annoys me. It threw me into a little bit of a spiral, but I am outside now reading fire your shrink and trying to regain my strength. I am better when I have no contact with him. Hearing or seeing him makes me long for him. I joked in my support group that I haven't had sex in so long I had cobwebs! I never thought it would bother me but lately I have really longed for those intimate moments together. It has been almost tougher now then when he left in the fall. Has anyone else had that experience? When I want something bad enough (him) I will do anything to get it (said that in my hs yearbook)It may take years, I am prepared to keep up my work on myself, but it is killing me.

Oh, D8 brought home a scrapbook the other morning. Apparently GF helped her. She printed out pics that she took of MY H, as well as herself. Do I have to look at her pictures? IN my face? So anyway I did one up and printed D8 pictures of H and I together to add to the book. Let GF look at those!! I got 25 yrs under my belt, she has 3 months. Lookout.

If you both have a mutual interest in walking. Why din't you be engaging and talk about it - you can tell him how you've seen hte great health benefits etc. It is neutral territory for conversation which is what you want to build a friendship.

if he sounds happy during his convos then you should too. Be that greener grass, look good, feel good for you.