Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy For the Guy with Kids and a WW 8

I'm okay. Trying to stay as upbeat as I can. Business is business, you know.

But the freakin' lump keeps sitting there. Waiting to scratch its way out. Not gonna let it. On my third cup of coffee already. I thought maybe I could drown it. Or burn it.

I would KILL for a hug today. Someone to hold me tight, rock me back and forth, stroke my hair and assure me that everything is going to be okay. I've been the rock for her to lean on and rely on for so long, it's my turn. Problem is, if someone did, all composure would be out the door.

And I'm not gonna give GBG the satisfaction. Not anymore.

I probably sound worse than I am. I'm trying to be pretty cool, but the crap is right there under the surface lurking.

I'm not sure if I really feel like getting out tonight, either. I don't know. We'll see.

I think you need to go out tonight at least for a little while. Maybe just for dinner if you don't want too festive of an atmosphere. You will get through this. This isn't the end of your story with your wife, just a new chapter. There is always hope.

kat

((((H4H)))) go out tonight. Kat is so right. Its not the end, just a new chapter.

Take care of you.

Corey

Thanks for checking in on me, kat and suga.

Your right. I DO need to get out for a bit. I might have to go pick my D's to get them to grandma's, then out. From the looks of it, GBG will staying at her apartment tonight. She packed her alarm clock and toiletries for sure. She has to work tomorrow, though and so do I.

I don't really want to, but I'm going to have to call her to see if SHE had plans for the girls before I make them.

I'm feeling much better. A busy day at work will do that.

The lump isn't there anymore.

If ya'll are still having it, I might be joining for movie night if D's stay with grandma over the weekend.

Maybe we can pick something just for you. What are you wanting to see? We will be having a chick flick night when Karen gets her movies in, but I can always go pick something up and we can let everyone know and they can join or not. Let me know.

kat

(((H4H))) Watch something funny...

Took some time for lunch today. I usually skip. Boss brought me a salad that I asked for.

"A salad?!"
"Hey, I need to watch my ballerina figure."

I the lunch room, I decided I needed to ask about the kids. I don't want to talk to her right now, so I sent a text:

'R U making plans with the kids tonite?'

Simple, to the point.

She called back right away.

'Hello?' My voice sounded funny. I had salad in my mouth.
A slight pause.

'Are you ok?'

I give a slight pause answering.
'Yeah, I'm eating some salad.'
'Were still moving stuff. The kids want to stay.'
'They're going to spend the night?'
'Yeah, they want to stay over.'
Mumbling in the background. Echo like an empty space.
'They have stuff?'
'Yes. Don't worry. I didn't leave you an empty house. I left all the big stuff. I left you the dishes. I took the other white set. Oh, I did bring their little tv.'
'What about the tv in nephews room?'
'Yeah.'
'That is our tv.'
'Well, if you want to give it to me. Wait, Miguel brought his tv, I think. Yeah, because he brought all his stuff, too. We're going to share the room.'
'And sleeping? They can use the sleeping bags.'
'Yeah, I have an air mattress. We'll get the sleeping bags. I'm trying to get as much done today. I rented a Uhaul, but just for the day.'
'Okay. So the kids will be there tomorrow.'
'Yes, they already know that they cannot leave the apartment.'
'No swimming?'
'No swimming. No leaving the apartment. If you want, I can start this week with me having the kids.'
'I was just curious. If they were going to stay the weekend or whatever, I wanted to pick them up to take them to church.'
'Thats fine. You can pick them up and take them to church. I was going to take the puppies on Sunday and try to give them away in front of the video store.'
'Okay. I can get them at about 10:30.'
'Well, were still unloading. We'll call you later. Okay?'
'Okay.'

Sitting in the breakroom, the lump in my throat came back. I was fighting like hell to suppress it. Got a little teary eyed. I will be strong.

I guess S14 has moved his stuff out, too. I wasn't expecting that.

I will get to go out. Need to make some plans. I have a couple different invites.

I will have Saturday night too. Not going to make plans yet. Just see how the day progresses. If I stick around the house, I'll let ya'll know so we can pick a movie. Something funny sounds good.

So where is nephew? Will he be with you? Did you actually tell Miguel that he could stay if he wanted un til things are worked out with his Dad? Just asking.

kat

Nephew has been with his 'dad'. He is not actually his real dad. He is his mothers ex-boyfriend, but he took him in like a son for many years. A good guy. His real dad is not in the picture.

That is GBG's crazy side of the family, of course. Her sister has 4 kids, 4 different dads. Like the mother, 3 daughters, 3 different dads. GBG, 3 kids, 2 different dads.

Good thing she got her tubes tied after our last one.

Well, nephew has been with his dad, helping him move back to town. He will then move in with him and his family. He hasn't been home for about a month. I'm sure he'll be by soon to gather his things now.

Yes, I have told Miguel on several occassions that he ALWAYS has a place with me if he needs. I AM his dad as far as I'm concerned. I've been his dad since he was 6 months old. Not going to stop now. Just surprised if he did move all his stuff to the apartment, too. He is waiting for his dad to find an apartment too.

I will be the odd man out concerning time with S14.

I'm home now. What used to be a home, at least.

I didn't make it out. The last half hour of work was very difficult. The sadness grabbed hold of me. I couldn't work. I kept getting teary eyed. Mom calls to see how I am. I tell her I'm ok. She sounds worse than I do. After I get out, I can't go out. To choked up. I decide to visit my parents. Have a beer with dad. I get there, and my sister says that when mom saw it was me, she ran off to another room. I go find her and she is sitting at her computer wiping her eyes, holding a piece of pizza. I go to her, take the pizza away and hug her. She does what?

She puts her arms around my neck and gently strokes my hair. She's crying. I start to cry. We talk for about two hours. I mean a lot of stuff. Wife. The marriage. The kids. My ex. I finally told her about OM. She was angry before. Now she is really mad at her. My best friend calls me to stop by on the way home and I do. His girlfriend who went through a bad divorce is there too. I think he planned it. WE talk for about an hour over a glass of wine. God. Signs. Om. Marriage. They are concerned. I tell them that I am dreading going home. They want me to call them later.

I come home. China hutch gone. Her clothes gone. Not much of a sign of her. All the photo albums. Marriage stuff gone. Her dresser is still there but empty.

Girls beds are still there and their dressers, too. A few dolls that were up on a wall are still there. Barbie house gone. ALL their clothes and shoes gone. Everything in their closet is gone. S14 took his tv and computer and bookshelf. Futon is still there. His round chair is gone. Still has some clothes in the closet, but some are gone.

I am very upset about the girls stuff. Every bit of their clothes and shoes and toys except a few stuffed animals.

No way.

This is going to be so hard.