Hey Gypsy!!, enjoying the ride? Because that is what it is. A necessary ride with stops and bumps and dead ends and turns... And pretty soon you'll join me on that wonderful sea side road that I take in the morning to work (when I am not late)... Just avoid the "dead ends", you know what to do, turn the other way and walk... Love K
I need to quit smoking, I know. Thanks for the reminder... right when I thought I had everything covered, another "issue" to tackle.
I had a moment when I thought of spouse as a weak man. Go figure. Maybe I should give you my crystal ball!
Good to hear from you, my friend.
*hugs*
PS.. so far no processed sugar.. but am feeling the urges. I'm working backstage at the show tonight and the moms always bring in treats to eat. Maybe I'll bring in an apple and be a good girlie. This is the night that spouse will be attending. I'll stay there until my daughter comes back. No need to see him or create a tense atmosphere over something that is HER moment.
Do you know you go through sugar withdrawal just like any drug. Ugh.. but it's a good thing.. I guess.
Great idea on quitting smoking. Your children will thank you.
Thank goodness you're not going anywhere. I really don't know where I would be today if I hadn't "found" you. It looks like I'll be joining you in separated, too. Or maybe Surviving the Big D? The forum we choose is somewhat symbolic, isn't it?
Originally Posted By: Gypsy
We'll see how I do revealing the state of our finances to spouse. His omission of involvement is just as weighing as my not keeping track of how/where the money went.
I know the fear you must be feeling. I believe it has to do with the secrecy issue, but also because of how much control he had in your marriage - the intimidation and manipulation factors make any "difficult" discussion an unbearable thought. The longer you put it off, the longer you will be miserable over his potential outburst. Let him feel angry. You have been perfectly justified to spend the money any way you see fit. Just because he went to the office everyday, doesn't mean you didn't earn your right to spend equally. I don't remember you jetting off to Greece recently... let's not forget what the infamous Uncle E says about how expensive, erm, "kitty" is. =)
Love you, sweet friend. Wish you were here (or I was there!).
Talk to you soon.
P.S. How's the tiggilicious one?
Last edited by girlfromipanema; 08/02/0802:00 AM.
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
Hi Gypsy, I just wanted to check on you. I hope everything went well tonight at the play.
Hugs.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Thanks for checking in on me. Where to post our tales no doubt reflects where we are on our journey.
I talked to my college roommate today. She's very straightforward and told me she thought I was talking more about spouse than I had in the past... about how hearing about his puppy would upset me, etc. I'll work on that.
Day Three no processed sugar. Some foods taste really greasy, which doesn't make sense to me. Ah well..
This thread may get very dull as I focus on me instead of him. DB for me me me me.
My goal.. not to include him even in these posts. It only gets me riled.
In the end, all you can do is focus on you. I realized that yesterday when I was pondering why C wasn't "fixing" H. H isn't C's patient. I am. C is fixing me. Then he trusts that I will be able to set appropriate boundaries & take H's comments as information rather than a personal attack on my character.
Focus on you is a great thing. hugs
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
My thread is nothing but drama. Don't feel like you have to come over. I know it bothers you. It is alright. You don't have to put yourself through that. I won't think anything of it.
"take H's comments as information rather than a personal attack on my character.."
Ohhh... that's a keeper.. and something that can be applied to more than one situation.
Love you..
*hugs*
PS.. focusing on me makes me quiet. It must be a new way of looking at how I interact. Also that I don't need to talk nonstop, telling stories, monopolizing conversations. Unless of course, you're someone I feel close to and alllll those behaviors come out!
