Right now I've decided to try not to focus on the porn thing. I certainly can't forget it, but I'll wait for our next C session to bring it up. All I can do is let him know that I don't like it and tell him how it makes me feel (which I feel like I've already done a thousand times before). Hopefully the C will have some insight into what we can do, but he will have to be the one to change. I know that I can't stop him from doing whatever he wants to do.
Are there any guys out there who would like to pipe in on this issue? Thanks.
I don't know what to suggest about the porn. I like the idea of using it as a way to flirt with him. I did that the one time I caught my H with it during this MLC of his (if that is what it is) and it didn't make things worse. He seemed relieved by my reaction.
Could you ask him how it makes him feel in a non-judging way? and then just listen to what he says without offering your feelings. Maybe you could get some insight that way.
Besides the porn, it seems like things are chugging along for you!
Nature Girl M 40 H 40 M 15, T 19 D11 S9 bomb 3/07 (MOW)
Besides the porn, it seems like things are chugging along for you!
Well, there are a few other things, mainly gambling debts that he needs to straighten out, but I'm trying to think positive. The last few days I've been a little down about us, but I know the ups and downs are to be expected.
I think that is great that you are piecing your M back together. I sure hope that happens to me sometime soon! It doesn't seem like your H was in MLC very long.
I believe mine has been in it since 2005 & met OW in 2007 moved to another state with her March 2008 after our D. He didn't really know her except via email & phone & seeing her once a weekend since he told me he wanted D. So, I keep hoping this will be over soon but I just don't know. It's hard not hearing from him.
I am so happy for you!!! I hope your days will be filled with "ups" very soon & no more of the "downers"!
NA, Hey. I see your also piecing. I moved over to the piecing forum and got very few responses, so I pretty much keep on posting here in the MLC forum.
I also see your H moved back in with you in April - my h came back in May '08.
I am trying to make some new piecing buddies, because this is soooo hard.
Our H's have a very similar timeframe. I guess I am wondering how long you guys waited before making the move back in with each other or did it happen right away?
My H is still living in an apartment and I can still see many signs of MLC. We dont do C together, I used to go alone but didnt find it too helpful.
My H and I are doing great, and he is starting to come over more often and stay the night more. Sex life is absolutely great, however he still flirts with other random women and rents porn and girly magazines. And I espesially fear that he is sneeking out to the strip clubs and visiting his old Stripper EA girly from last year. I have no reason to think this other than fear.
So I can relate to the porn thing. My H even yelled at me in the heat of one of our Arguments that I never let him look at porn or watch naughty videos and that he is like the only man on earth that didnt ever get to have those pleasures when we were together. He even has gotten himself a P.O. box (right before the first bomb) so that his mail came to a different place than our house. He still uses this P.O. box and it bugs me.
I can relate to your fears so much and how hard it is to just trust their words. Do you think that C helps with this?
Well, I guess that I am also wondering if your H still shows many signs of still being in some sort of a crisis, as does mine. My H still lives in his apartment, goes out binge drinking regularly, has his p.o. box, gets an enormous amount of texts throughout the day, rarely works full days, is looking desperately to change careers, spends all of his money foolishly, eats every meal out, flirts with random women, hates my family and our old friends, and is constantly making new friends. But then when he is alone with me, we have a great time together and he acts so nice and kind and loving, and actually acts like a H. It is almost like he is torn between a M life and a Single life and cant make up his mind. Does your H show any similarities? TIPPER
