Well.. thank you for all the love you gave me yesterday.. the posts, phone calls, chats. *hugs* This site has really been a godsend.
Slamming back into the throes of a depression by missing the medication was shocking. I didn't realize I was so distraught inside. I'll be consistent on taking the meds now.
My serotonin levels may be shot, but I CAN be active participant in being healthy, which has to help on all levels. The first is to stop using what is most harmful to me.
Sugar is my drug of choice. My comfort foods are all sugar laden. A few years ago I stopped eating processed sugar. My focus was anything that was in a box.. like cookies, ice cream, etc. I'd still allow myself a glass of wine or a beer. Any thing natural that was sweet I'd eat. Within 10 days of eliminating processed sugar I'd start feeling so much better. My thinking was clearer, I didn't get rattled, I'd have perspective and could see farther than the immediate moment.
Since spouse admitted his committed relationship with her I've allowed myself to eat what I want when I want. Sometimes I don't even want it, but I eat it.
It's time to process the emotions and not the sugar. Ahh yes.. and this is with my daughter's ice cream cake made by the most incredible place sitting in the freezer. No time like the present to deal with life as it is.
Just told my IC on Tuesday that this is something i really want/need to work on. I want to get back to feeling good about how I look, and just feel good with my body!
I've already been avoiding some of my favorite get-me-in-trouble foods.. semi-sweet chocolate, chocolate croissants so far today. Each positive affirmation is a choice not to hurt myself and move toward a better place.
Sugar is evil. It is like a drug to some people... myself included. Fortunately I have been able to hold myself back from purchasing any Pistachio! Pistachio! or cheesecake or chocolate bars. However, I will admit to eating an Oreo for breakfast yesterday morning. Can you believe this dumbspit bought MORE Oreos for him on Sunday? Double Stuft and Golden/Chocolate - because they were on sale and I'm stupid. Nothing can replace the perfection of the classic chocolate oreo with cream center. Take my word for it, though. Don't bother trying the new Golden variety. Letting go of my role as wife is a slow progression for me. What can I say?
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
Yep.. had my healthy breakfast, fairly positive lunch. My goal today is no processed sugar. I'll worry about other things later. Seems that all my clothes starting to look really bad on me was my motivator.
*hugs*
Wife or having control? So many things change. Have you met with an attorney to know your legal rights?
Girl, you're not stupid. May I suggest that next time you buy Oreo's for Mr. Idiot, that you take said Oreo's and place them in a row forming a line leading to the locked box. Place the last Oreo on top of the lock. Hopefully he will proceed like a dog slowly eating his way towards the box, when he gets to the lock with any luck he will bite upon it and viola..broken teeth and the box is open!!
No need for Geraldo!!
Sorry for the hijack Gypsy
Last edited by M from Tennessee; 07/31/0805:48 PM.
Glad your lawyer thought your H's proposal was good and that you didn't have to do the Temporary Order today.
I like your sugar busting plan. I too enjoy the sweets. As a matter of fact I just inhaled Little Debbie Fudge Rounds... two of them... and I feel ick.
After reading your thread I think I'll throw the rest of the box in the garbage... I don't need these things!
One day at a time... sugar is an addiction (just not as dangerous as many others!).
Originally Posted By: Gypsy
Wife or having control? So many things change. Have you met with an attorney to know your legal rights?
Control? I have zero need to have control. I really do feel it was my 'wife' role. It's hard to be in the same home and not take care of him. It's what I've known and loved. Maybe it's a 'co-dependent' thing. ICK. Why does that word bother me so much and, before you ask, no, i didn't have time to get the book yesterday... =)
Mikey, bro, you kill me.
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
