Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives Surviving the Big D Archives Friday Face

i told my boys that it isn't fair but that sometimes lie isn't fair

then I had them make lists of allthe things we do together that is special because of our little family

we had a blast making the list

I told them that it is ok to be sad because it is a sad thing

they understand all that

they just want us to still be there
to be sure of us

you did a great job

and

damn you chick!!!

I really need some shots today
and
a bar to dance on

woot woot

Jewels,

I second that emotion, ya done good. It is hard when our little chicks wanna fly the nest, or in this case your bed but as others have said, it is a good thing.

The high road, that is, not telling our kids the WAS had their head up their rear, is the right thing to do and the kids will one day know from their own investication why their other parent's head smells funny

(Sorry, I really do forgive my X but it is fun taking jabs at her when no one but us DBer's gets to laugh at our poor, miguided WAS's )

Karen, KS, BH, figgy and C2H, thanks for stopping by. Thanks for the affirmation. (It's one of my love languages, you know!!)

So, C2H, funny you should mention the high road. I just had this conversation with a coworker. Throughout all of this, my focus has been to be classy and dignified so that if my kids were ever to look back as adults, they would be able to see that. And I really hope that my resolve on that stays firm even when I'm going thru rebellious and trying teen years.

Anyway, life is going wonderfully. Work is amazing. Kids have been doing really well. Things are just cruisin' along. I just feel soooo lucky and blessed. There are so many things in my life that are amazing and fulfilling and rewarding that I wouldn't be doing but for the actions of X. So I don't lose sight of that... here, for the grace of God go I!

Joooools!!!
You're doing great and you've come a long way, baby!!!

I liked BH's response as to why the parents are no longer together. Simple, to the point, no animosity, etc. Just the facts, maam!!! They'll figure out the "true" story on their own and in the meantime, you still get to be the "classy" one!!!

Thanks, jilly... sooooo glad to see you. (and sorry to hear about your dad - been thinkin of ya)

I agree Jilly and I've used that one til now. It's no longer cutting it, however, so I'm having to break new ground with them. And it's been working till now... so I just need to not get lazy on it.

Hey Julie, must be a standard time frame, as my own daughter's been starting to get a little more inquisitive and pointed with her questions.

I'm starting to be just a little more direct. She wants us back together. That just isn't going to happen. So, I'm telling her that sometimes grownups disagree about things and argue and fight, and she remembers how we used to fight. I then tell her that sometimes they just can't stop fighting over the same things and they make each other mad and sad, and it has nothing to do with kids, or with anyone else but those two grownups not getting along. And sometimes, to stop fighting so much they have to stop being together, so everyone can be happier.

So far, that's doing OK. Time will tell.

Whatever

WTG Skinny!

Well, I'm glad that's working for you! My kids (fortunately or unfortunately) never saw us fighting as we just never did. So while I tell them that it's normal for them to want their parents together and it is sad and that we won't get back together. They still struggle to see what was SO BAD that we had to divorce.

All situations are different of course and I realize there are no cookie cutter approaches to this so it's more a vent than anything. And I appreciate the feedback.

I get it. And, this is the place for the vent, huh?

You missed out on all the fighting? Sheesh, some people just totally don't know how to make divorce fun.

Hi Julie, No doubt about it - someday, your little girls will look back on this time and they will be just astounded at the class and grace you have demonstrated throughout your sitch. I don't think you could give them ANY better gift as a parent, than being such a terrific role model.