The trick is to not be intimidated by the sleeping elsewhere, or to allow it to discount the postives that are happening.
I am just concerned that whilst your W is "sleeping elsewhere" you are not prepared to move forward in the area of intermacy.
But.... you are in the best place to make decisions,we can only comment from your posts. So take care as you move forward slowly, we are here to support you.
Jak and Lanzo, Knowing that out there in the world there are at least two people (and others in the shadows) rooting for you who understand your situation makes a big difference.
I don't know if I'm prepared or not to move into intimacy. I do know that I'm more prepared than I've ever been.
We meet with the financial planner again today to invest some of my W's windfall and to problem-solve the debt issue.
My W commented that she is grateful to have a H who dances with her. She said that (unknown to me) that ladies in the dance community are jealous of her for having a dancing H. My stock has risen.
I've been invited to her private lesson with the #5 West Coast Swing dancer in the country.
August is going to be an interesting month. This may be the month we turn the corner.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
[/quote]My W commented that she is grateful to have a H who dances with her. She said that (unknown to me) that ladies in the dance community are jealous of her for having a dancing H. My stock has risen.[quote]
CL,
Subtle Change!!!!
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
I so wish there could be a book on communication like the retro program. It is so nice to spend 10 mins a day just talking to W thinking about nothing but our feelings.Now don't get me wrong, these are not feelings for each other. they are our feeling about events, situcations just feelings that don't nessasarly involve your partner. Even though it is against the rules the 10 mins keep on getting a little longer. C is a form of Dialoguing but it is more of a listen to your partner and then responds with YOUR feelings. In Retro you listen to your partner and acknowledge their feelings. Not right or wrong.
Have you ever had a problem that you could not figure out and while you were asking somebody about it out loud it becomes clear and you answer your own question? During these Dialogues that is what happens you start to really listen to your partner and HEAR how they feel and why they do things. And in your explanation of YOUR feelings you sometimes see why becasue of how somethings make you feel YOU do things
Dr LOve
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
