Wow Julia, That DB session was amazing! I can really see what she said was so helpful - and you and your H need to start from the ground up right now and reestablish a friendship.
I didnt realise his Crohns had been that serious and that is massive at his age. I wasnt sure if you meant he did, or may have to have a colostomy, but I am assiming that he doesnt for now. No wonder he flipped out, I would have! Thats a really sad and unfortuante thing to have struck him and I guess he hasnt handled it at all well (not talking about it, missing appointments, leaving his lovely W to go be young and carefree!) I guess he is acting out of fear. It must be terribly hard to stand by and watch him potentially damage himself, but I suppose the DBC was right in that you will come off better if you are accapting and non-judgemental and be his friend, truly.
Sounds like it was money well spent ! Well done on the email too,
Ali xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Yeah loads better, it really was money well spent. I've spoken to her before and she was great before I came to the board.
She really got a good handle on my situation and pulled out the important information from me. I really didn't realise that I did mother/ protect him until the words came out of my mouth. She didn't even have to point it out to me it was like a light bulb! Especially over the weekend episode.
He is so precious to me that I want to wrap him up in cotton wool. I do it out of love because I want to protect him and make sure it never happens again. That attack was so severe because the doctors were so rubbish at diagnosing so it got very advanced. It was only because I fought that we got a specialist appointment. He lost 4 stone in 2 months and they thought he had a stomach upset!!
He is well for the moment, and could potentially never have an attack again. I just have to trust that he will never want to let it get so far again and will recognise the signs.
Ali - thank you for your kind words. He doesn't have the bag now it was temporary, but we weren't sure at the time. Luckily he healed well and recovered so they could reverse it and didn't have to install a permanent one.
Wow, miss a couple of hours on this thread and things really move!! I am so glad that it went so well with the DBC. I really think that what she said and TD and Pisces approach to being caring but casual friends is the best approach you can follow. I also know that can be hard because i keep tripping myself but it sounds like she really helped to get your mind in the right spot to be able to do that. Thanks for sharing because I think her advice applies to many here too.
In nut shell, every February the ground hog pops out of his hole and if he looks down and sees his shadow, then there will be 6 more weeks of bad weather. If he does not then it will be an early spring. As a side note one of my favorite movies is called Groundhogs Day with Bill Murray, you should check it out for a good laugh.
Me 27, W26 T-12 M-4 SEP 4/29/08 Holding 250 miles Awaiting Support Current
