That is ironic with his drinking but still needing to "save you". No one ever said any of this makes sense.
Saving me by putting me through the worst pain of my life, so I won't have to go through it in ten years. (Yes, he actually said that, "Better now than 10 years down the road!" --i.e. the age when his parents got D. Uh, how bout better NOT AT ALL?)
Originally Posted By: JWS
no one here will ever question why you L him, That you do and you want to save your M
That's why this site is so great, and SO ADDICTIVE! Most people in my life think I should just say, "good riddance." It's beyond them not wanting me to be in pain, cause I don't really show my pain to a lot of people.
I think it's partially cause our culture just thinks of people and love as so disposable, especially if it's "too much work".
When all of us are so damaged and flawed (ironically often by our own parents difficult marriage or divorce), what meaningful relationship ISN'T work?
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
you hit the nail on the head, and that is why D is at 50% in this country, everyone thinks life is suppose to be easy and when its not you give up and find something that makes you happy. I am not one to ride a high horse very often but you should be damn proud of the fight you are putting up.
Love is way more of a choice then a feeling
Me 27, W26 T-12 M-4 SEP 4/29/08 Holding 250 miles Awaiting Support Current
yeesh! i need to catch up! ive only been away since this morning
Oh, girl, you didn't really miss anything. Just trying to get more of a grasp on where H's head is at, filling in the map of how we got to this place. And, most importantly, tell you guys about it instead of HIM.
Going to use it to help me keep detaching and take all of this less personally.
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
Whenever I write things here I always think I sound really negative. I suppose that is because we focus more on the negatives. I was thinking that maybe you could share a really positive experience with us. It might help to get an idea of where your h is at, for us to see how he responds in good times.
I was thinking that maybe you could share a really positive experience with us. It might help to get an idea of where your h is at, for us to see how he responds in good times.
D'ya mean a good experience pre-bomb or post-bomb?
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
I'd love to talk about pre-bomb, I just know if it makes any difference right now because his feelings are clearly different than they were then.
So, post-bomb, there have been several positive things:
I know he cares about me, in word and action.
We did hook up once after the bomb. Since then he's admitted to several other times of really wanting to ML to me, says he doesn't want to because he's "afraid he will feel connected to me." He's told me he's still very strongly attracted to me.
He's offered to move home a few times, although none of them were serious offers, so I hesitate to count it.
He's apologized and was genuinely sorry about the EA, (although, the kissing incident not so much).
We have a lot of fun together, we both have a good sense of humor and make each other laugh.
Kind of a weak list, but it is what it is.
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
Just trying to get more of a grasp on where H's head is at, filling in the map of how we got to this place. And, most importantly, tell you guys about it instead of HIM.