I just had to drop in and say I've got some fit flops too and love them! They are so comfy. I am not sure if I've posted to you before but I have watched your thread and you do seem so much stronger lately.
I still have trouble believing this is going through..
(((((((((Gypsy)))))))))
I imagine it won't sink in completely for quite some time. 25 years is a very long time. Your family was your Universe. Your husband turned your world upside down in the blink of an eye. It's OK to mourn the loss as long as you need to, as long as you can continue to make strides towards your new life. We can't wallow forever. We'll be here to remind you, if you need it. I, for one, am extremely impressed with your direction, clarity, insight and beauty.
I'm jealous of your mom friend. Wish I could give you a superhug.
Lots of love, R
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
Hi Gypsy girlfriend, good luck to your darling D14 tonight, & Congrats to you for all the effort & hard work you've put into this. I hope it goes off without a hitch.
We had a long drive home yesterday, gotta love California traffic. Ugh. 3 hours to go 20 miles. I'm recovering today.
Hugs
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Last night was great.. the show was wonderful. My daughter was incredible. I went backstage to see if they needed any help (2 hours before the show) and found myself kneeling on the floor precisely cutting fabric for last minute additions to costumes, 45 minutes before the show altering costumes. Twenty minutes before the show I went to leave and couldn't find my purse (which had the tickets along with everyting else.) Like a lost waif I asked everyone I saw.. "Have you see my purse?" A prop person remembered putting it in an out of the way place. What a relief.
I looked very nice, had the full she-bam of makeup on. Someone had asked me why I didn't put the same effort into myself as I do for my daughter. Oops... gave it a try. I was anxious that spouse would be there with her. I even asked my daughter if she knew which show her dad would attend. She didn't know, didn't say.
Yesterday morning, I reviewed the financial affidavit and signed it at the lawyer's office. We have the Temporary Orders court date on Thursday. After reading Ready's thread, it sounds like I have to meet with spouse and his lawyer, be questioned. Talk about feeling fear.
I have to remind myself that I don't have to be intimidated by this process. Anything that makes me insecure I can deal with. If I'm concerned about how the money has been spent, I can go through and give an accounting of it. Deal with facts, not emotions or intimidation. Spouse knows what rattles me. I will not succumb to feeling defenseless.
His actions are not about how much they upset or offend me. It's him doing what he needs to do to live the life he wants. My emotional wellbeing is not a factor in the process.
I give up.
I GIVE up.
I give UP.
Giving up can sound so self defeating. Giving up can be a release. Giving up can be an offering.
It's all perception.
I've gone from being completely stuck to standing looking at a signpost with lots of direction arrows:
Forwardville Stuck City Backslide Gulch Tomorrowland
My choice. My life.
Each path rocky. The funny thing is, the bad choices always lead you back to the good ones.. unless you want to live your life as a deadend.
Hi Sweetie, the play sounds like it was wonderfully exhilirating & fun & chaotic. Congrats to you & D.
I bet you are so RELIEVED to have the affidavit done. Treat yourself to something decadent. Chocolate ?
Hugs.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
