I keep trying to focus on all the postives that have happened over the last couple of months but all the fears and insecruities are not far below the surface. Good luck badcompany, and hang in there.
Me 40 H 41 T17/M14 Sons 7 and 4 OW - yes for over a year "I don't know what I want" 5/29/08
Well, H is still talking to OW, I have done everything from crying, pleading, getting angry and talking calmly to let him know not only how disprepectful it is but how much it hurts me. She lives 1000 miles away. I am not backing off. I have made myself crazy and now it is time to let go. Not of my marriage, but let go of him and let him figure things out. I am going back to work tomorrow after having the summer off, he is starting a new job on the 8th that will have him out of town a few nights a week (not near OW) and I can no longer worry and fret about what he is talking to her about and how much they talk. I will keep checking the phone records and see if it intensifies over the next few months and then make a decsion. He keeps saying that he loves me and only me and never wants to leave me or for me to leave him and just let him get back on his feet. I really don't believe him too much anymore, but am willing to give him some time.
Me 40 H 41 T17/M14 Sons 7 and 4 OW - yes for over a year "I don't know what I want" 5/29/08
H had too much to drink last night, called me (he was staying at my dad's house due to an early appointment) appoligized over and over, told me how much he loved me, how bad he feels for hurting me, how he can't even face himself over what he has done. I just wish he would express all this when sober. He has cut his drinking way down since he first came home, has gotten a new job, been more involved with the kids. Baby steps I guess. Still no sex between us - he keeps saying "soon honey" but I need to stop looking at what is not happening instead at what is happening.
Me 40 H 41 T17/M14 Sons 7 and 4 OW - yes for over a year "I don't know what I want" 5/29/08
