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i have no clue what to do or think, i feel like all my efforts have been shot out the window at high speed. \:\( damnit


2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF

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help


2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF

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Maybe you can start by being honest with her -- and yourself. C'mon, you're NOT really happy for her, and you resent the hell out of what she's done to you.

I think you're still placating her.

Puppy

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what is placating ? And what exactly should I say


2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF

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ok i know what placating is, but what am i supposed to say ? "you're making a big mistake by doing all this ?"


2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF

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i have absolutely no idea where i am supposed to begin with her.......someone please be more specific. Puppy markf says i can't let her see things get to me; I have to be the best I can for her.


2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF

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MarkF said "you don't react anymore. you own your feelings"


2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF

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let me sum all this up i suppose, i'm rambling because of my nerves. W's best friend (girl) and her best friend's boyfriend got kicked out of their apartment so my W offered to let them stay in our house for a couple of weeks til they found a place.(i agreed since i don't want her to be alone and i know them) The 3 of them have been house hunting (for the couple I thought), but since my wife has an extreme fear of being alone at night, and it would be cheaper than living at the house we own, she informed me she would most likely move in with them in their new home. also as for going back to school to get a degree, "another party" offered to help pay her way(OM). for the past 2 weeks, I have been nice as pie, not letting my feelings get in the way of things. We have not talked about our relationship ONCE in those 2 weeks, nor have I told her i missed her or loved or "please come back." she has been really nice, we've got along great, etc. I have not agreed to a divorce, she has not filed. what could I possibly tell her to get her to stay in our house, or reconsider our R, or stop her from taking OM's money for schooling ? Most likely, everyone on here will tell me NOT to help her pay for school, to let her move and sell our house (one less bill). I am being nice and telling her i'm proud of her for pursuing a degree, and when she mentions the house hunting, i say "well it sounds like you are planning things out" and leave it at that.


2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF

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I'm pretty sure God would have me offer to help pay for school (even though with child support i would be anyway) and help find someone to move in with her at our house. but what do I know ? maybe I'm chasing a ghost. I love her so much, yet I am aware of what's going on, I am not chasing her to HER knowledge, I want what's best for our family. I made her parents aware of all of her recent "plans" (of course she didn't tell them anything yet)


2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF

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I am reading DR for the second time now, seeing what I missed. I am doing everything right as far as getting a life, detaching, not showing emotions, especially that she could use against me, not being clingy or too receptive to her niceties.


2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF

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