Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy H is broken heart over OW

Today, not too bad. We took the kids swimming at my dad's and had a cook out. We are talking about her less and less and he is drinking less and less. He started drinking a lot when he took up with her - easing the guilt maybe? Going to do tonight what we used to do, watch a movie together and just chill out. Too much drama lately so this hopefully a good sign.

H actually touched me today in a playful way - small step or just wishful thinking? I know he says he is here and just give him time, but still hard to get hopefull about it. Feeling better, I did not think about her too much today at all.

He is still moping but it seems just a little less I think. Me, I played with kids finished a scarf I was making, and trying to do more for myself.

big fight last night. He said I don't love you I just want out!!! I said I can't stop you but please reconsider, we have made a commitment to each other and I don't want you to leave, but I won't keep you here against your will. The fight got so bad my MIL who lives with us got involved. Well this morning things were very tense but it has seemed to ease a little, I did not get mad or yell (I did cry) and this morning I got up early did some stuff, went shopping with my older son and H made dinner. We will see.

still in a holding pattern with H. Just when I think I see progress it seems to disappear. I keep reminding myself that I have to be patient and let it be. Hard to do sometimes

Art, I totally understand...my H just moved home too. Its so hard to fight the urges sometimes to just let it all out! I don't have any advice that you haven't already heard. Just wanted to say hi. Stay patient, like you said.

Have you thought about Retrouvaille?

I can't see him going to Retrouvaille, the fact that he admitted he needs antidepressants was a huge step for him. We do talk a lot and not just about the A or her. It has only been a month since thier last contact so I know this is too soon and he is still coming to terms with what he did, why it happened (we both are) and getting over her. Trying to keep my mouth shut more and listen (I am a teacher so not easy - we teachers do like to talk) and let him work through this. He said last night that he is thankful that I am the kind of woman that will stand by him. I am trying, hard sometimes, but I am trying.

If only everyone on this forum could get their spouse to Retrouvaille............the results and action that everyone is looking for would happen....instead of this "wait it out" stuff. There would still be this withdrawal and "coming to terms", but there would also be growth within the marriage and hope when you both feel hopeless. Take a look at the website, Artteach. BTW, I was a teacher for 8 years, I know about liking to talk.

Well, tomorrow morning H leaves on a business trip. Now the OW lives 1000 miles away and he is not going there (I checked his itinerary) but the thoughts like "is she going to meet him? has he called her? will he drive to see her? He will be an 8 hour drive from her on this trip. He has assured me that he has not had any contact for over a month now (I have checked his phone and went online and checked his usage history, which I hate doing, I was never that type of peson before) He has said over and over the last two weeks that he is sorry, it was a huge mistake, that he is thankful at how I handled this situation and that he loves me, but I am so worried and scared at him leaving. Trying to keep it inside don't want to act crazy and clingly. He comes back on Saturday and then we go away with the kids for 4 days. It is going to be a long week.

i am so jealous of where you are all at. i know it isn't all peachy, but your husband did come back (wish my W would) and WDID you gave up the affair and came back. I congratulate you both for your efforts.