IMO it wasn't Goodyears fault. They brought the best tires they could, it just had to do with the way they prep the track, the concrete is just too aggressive, they did a good job with the competition yellows if they hadn't done that they was going to be alot of wrecked cars for sure.
Had some computer issues this weekend so wasn't able to post anything.
Was a pretty quiet week up until Friday...
Since the kids are out of town I thought I would jump out of the box and decided to send W an email simply saying with the kids being gone would you like to get together sometime? Her answer was given the financial mess not sure that would be a good idea but I will let you know. I said I accept your answer and left it at that. Needless to say we did not do anything together, but hey at least I tried something different.
Saturday, W sends me a text in the morning saying that I need to sign something from our cell carrier so that she can get off of the plan. I said I don't understand why but if it will make you happy then I will do whatever I can. So about an hour later she comes over with the paperwork for me to sign to let her off of the plan. I said I still don't understand but I will sign it. She said it's no big deal, it's not like I have anything to hide, that's not why I am doing it, I said I believe you it's fine. So we talk abit about nothing and then she says well I gotta get going and she gave me a hug and left I didn't stand at the door to watch her leave I just shut it.
Saturday night she starts texting me saying she hadn't heard from the kids and wanted to know if I had I said no I haven't either and then it took a turn from there I had text back an answer to something she asked and she never reponded to. About an hour later she sends a text I and decided to sit on it for awhile so waited about 25 minutes and then responded then her reply was... W: Gee it took you that long to reply this late at night sorry for bothering you M: When I was waiting for you to reply to my last message I decided to brush the dog W: Oh W: Well what you do with your time is your business anyway M: My time is your time I am an open book for you to read W: What? M: I am an open book I have nothing to hide W: Well I get the feeling you think I do M: 12 yrs. ago I gave you something that I had locked away. Trust W: But we still ended up here M: Yes but we are lucky, cause we are taking the time to see what is wrong and are working to change it to become better W: I don't really consider it lucky. My hair is falling out for pete's sake the stress is huge. I won't ever do this again regardless of what happens. Too much M: Nor will I. You are my wife and I love you. Sleep well and pleasant dreams W: Oh gee, that threw me off big time. Um good night
That was the first time in 9 months I told her I loved her, maybe right maybe wrong, just felt like saying it. I know she is nowhere near being able to say it and maybe never will again don't know it is up to her.
Sunday she text me in the afternoon telling me she hadn't heard from the kids yet, I said well they are probably having fun nothing to worry about the will call when they have time. I told her that I had the financial paperwork ready if she wanted to stop by a get it, she said she would. She showed up about 20 minutes later and came inside and played abit with the dog and we talked about what we were going to do with the house and stuff and then she said she better get going, so this time instead of waiting to see if she hugged me, I hugged her first. I think it stunned her abit, so I walked her out to the car and we were talking and she said it really freaked me out last night when you told me you loved me, I said well I do she said I know but you haven't said it in such a long time I said I know didn't want to pressure you, but you haven't either she said I know I just don't know I said it's okay. She said I thought you said it cause I was going to my atty. tomorrow I said well that's for the finances, and if its for a divorce I can't stop that. She said I'm not saying I'm going for that. I said there is a song by Blake Shelton it's called "Austin", and you should listen to it. She said there is a song in the movie "broken bridges" that explains how she feels so I am going to listen to that might give me some more insight on her. So I decided since I inititated the hug I took a bolder step and kissed her goodbye, and told her to have a nice evening.
I found in myself that I still love my wife and am going to keep fighting until she divorces me if it comes to that. I found that she truly is lost in all of this and really has no clue. I have done alot IMO to give her what she is asking for with space and time and will continue doing that there will be times I slip but can only pick myself backup and keep going...
You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink...
