LL,you are inspirational! All the more so because you are nuts sometimes, just like the rest of us. I'm always in awe of the way you buck yourself off your own horse, then get up & dust yourself off and get right back to the ride.
I was just glancing over some of my old threads and noticed that when h first expressed his confusion and started to once again spend some time with me...he was confused and boy I must have been a hell of a lot stronger then! he was admittently still in communication with ow then...how the heck did I put up with that?
anyway...I really do like to hear you folks all thinking I'm an inspiration..I don't feel much like one. I am simply me...took the journey for what it was...learned some about myself...learned some about relationships and well realized that everyday I still have more to learn.
I hope to someday have enough confidence in my marriage to write a letter to michelle thanking her...but for now I still feel reluctant...I don't know why...I suppose that's a normal feeling....perhaps once a year of h's return is under our belts I'll feel more confident in calling it a success openly.
things still continue to go well...every once in a while I am plauged with fear of being manipulated but then I take a step back and tell myself not to waist my energy on negative thoughts when they are simply my thoughts.
sometimes I come here just to rant and rave or share the good stuff or simply check in on others...
there are times though when there is little going on with those that I do follow so I wander around checking out what's going on and at times I am angered...saddend but then there are times when I see myself and want to scream and shake and jump through the computer and help the other person understand what it is they are feeling/thinking etc.
I suppose I am not that much of an oddity here...I was not a waw but was walked away from...the differing twist is that I felt like a potential waw before h did walk.
I read the thoughts of those potential walkers bot h's and w's and it serves to only further my conviction that I will not give up the good fight to have a happy healthy loving marriage.
Jump through here and help me... How do you balance showing H that you are getting on with your life and show him that you forgive him, flirt with him, etc. How to pursue, but not pursue?
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Quote: Jump through here and help me... How do you balance showing H that you are getting on with your life and show him that you forgive him, flirt with him, etc. How to pursue, but not pursue?
you show him that you are getting on with your life by starting to do things for yourself, things that make you happy, hobbies, friends, etc.
you show him that you forgive him by actually forgiving him...by letting go of any anger or resentment you hold toward him...when you do it will show in your actions and words..or even just in your tone.
how to flirt with him?
if you can flirt without actually flirting...discover his love language...is it words of affirmation? well then let him know when he's done a good job of something or thank him when he does something...
is it gifts..well then get him something but make sure that it is a practical needed useful item and not a gift perse'.
