Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives For Newcomers Archives Ken's situation - Live-in WAW

Thanks Distressed. You're totally right about it being easier to detach when things are going smoothly. It was a really nice day with alot of fun. I was thinking she might be a bit distant next time we talk because of the day we had yesterday. The push pull thing.

We are in MC and are scheduled to go back on Aug 4. We would normally go every week but since my doc is trying to balance me out on the new meds they thought it didn't make sense to have an MC session until I was more stable and not in a deep depression.

I'm off to work.

Ken

Distressed where is your new thread? I see the last one you had is locked and I can't find where you started a new one.

Nice work Ken. Just echoing D's words and keeping up

My new one is "In a holding pattern waithing for clearence". Its still in For Newcomers but since nothing is really happening it is very far back.

I work, golf, do work around the house and spend time with the kids amd W being her friend only. Boring everyday stuff but its peaceful and we talk, cook, sit on the back porch and watch tv together. Thanks for asking. Will keep all informed if it starts to progress.

You keep it up sounds like yours is slowly moving along and if you keep making babysteps eventually you will get where you are going.

Something I forgot to mention the other day which is pretty positive. When I was over the house for my son's birthday my wife showed me a vhs/dvd recorder that she ordered for the house. I told her I'm glad it came in and now we can dub the vhs kids tapes to dvd's and there were some vhs tapes from when I studied jiu jitsu that I wanted to burn to DVD.

She then said, "We can burn our wedding tape onto DVD also. Or did you already do that?"

Thought this was a positive.

Ken

That is interesting, not sure how to take that. Most W that want out of the M would not be dubbing their wedding onto DVD. Why would she care? If you think it was a positive then take it that way and move on.

Remember to stay cool, let her talk, don't respond emotionally.

She will fill in the 'blanks' of any conversation with her own fears. Let her. Be above this.

Yeah distressed, that's exactly what I thought, which is why I took it as a positive. I totally forgot about it until this morning and didn't even think much about it when she said it to me. If she were that negative about the marriage she wouldn't be talking about dubbing the wedding video onto dvd.

Not sure what you mean frank... can you clarify for me?

Forget about this. It means nothing. It's future talk. It's normal for a WAW. They do/say all kinds of things that will give you hope. Just do for yourself..

Detach.

Ok thanks M. Been working on detachment. I appreciate your feedback, you are well respected here.

No contact yesterday at all, and I expected that. We have a wedding to go to tonight. Of course bussiness as usual - no R or M talk, confident and detached (as detached as I can be right now). We'll see how the night goes.

Ken

I have a bit of anxiety this morning not sure the specific cause other than the sitch in general. I need to get past this so I bring my A game tonight. I don't want to be interacting with her with anxiety oozing out of me.

I recognize the sitch holds the majority of my thinking even when I'm doing other things it's running in the background. The positive is last week it was paralyzing me from doing or enjoying other parts of my life, but this week it isn't having the same negative impact.

Any advice for the wedding tonight?

Ken