Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy I've come full Circle/LTA & MLC 9

I hope you have a chance to take bigger bites.

Right now I take them as I get them. Just be happy that I see what is really important. My kids are the most important thing. I want them to get through this okay. By helping them and even offering advice on other threads I do get to help myself. I have been trying to make some time for myself each week.

I think once this is done, I won't have so much anxiety. Is it today, this week? When will the axe fall? I tell you it is no way to live. You all know I would have preferred that my marriage would have been revived( and I'm not counting out the possiblity in the future) but I don't see it happening.

H sends me TM on a regular basis but I don't answer many of them. It is too painful to act like this doesn't kill me inside, to act as if everything is fine.

I will be fine someday, just not now.

kat

Don't you have some questions for your L? So it isn't going to happen until you get things clarified, right? You've got your priorities correct, it seems. You sound strong. Maybe it's all those people wrapped around your little finger. I hope you stay strong. (((((kat)))))
gF

Yes, I have a couple of questions but for the most part I know I will end up signing because there is nothing else legally to be done. The courts here don't help you fight for your marriage they just whisk you in and out as fast as they can. Oh, you would like a divorce? Take a number. #5222333, you want a divorce, ok done. Next?

I just know that it would hurt 100 times more if I saw that he had signed all of these papers first and then I had to sign.

kat

It is the same way in Maine. The only difference between an uncontested D vs a contested D here is the time of your hearing and the size of your L bill. Only one person needs to say it is over, and it is (I love this term) -- "no fault".

We have no-fault too--I guess it makes the WAS feel less guilty about their OPs. I bet it was some WAS that came up with that concept too! Karen

No doubt that "no fault" was thought up by WAS!!!

How's this one. We have no fault, but only 3 grounds:
1) Adultery (instant D) - has to be brought on by the non-cheating partner
2) Abuse (instant D)
3) 1 year separation (doesn't mean total separation, could be in same house, but have to stop living like H and W in all respects - different sleeping rooms, different eating times, etc)

So unless I consent, my WW has to wait a year after she files, if / when she gets to that point.

Gosh, I always knew I loved Canada! I've seen some of the Canadian politicians on the Bill Maher show and they all seem so much smarter & sensible than our US politicians!!! That's very nicely done I think! Karen

Karen,
You are always welcome north of the border!!

yeah, no fault sucks. As I have mentioned before, I hate the wording. They make it sound as if I wanted this, as if I am content with it. I really don't like this legal system as far as Divorce is concearned. We are such a messed up country in this area. What happened to responsibility?

kat