Thanks ~B. I was hoping youd enlighten me too... Anyway he had been gone for @ 5 days... it always seems like when he is gone for any amount of time ..... THEN~ when he comes home and we ML~...... well then he feels like a baseball bat and I was lubricated sufficiently. He did something to me that practically sent me to the moon before hand. PHEEW~ * wiping the sweat off my brow* Too X rated to talk about but let me just say.... ~WOW~!
I think it is just a mix of what you all said... No biggie, RIGHT? THANX everyone! He did also enjoy when I let him know he was too large.... ~wow I never could have imagined our sex life would just get better and better and better.
~ZOWIE~
Sorry my mind is not functioning to well... a little foggy right now! ~Ali
Ok you all I think I know what to do but you all are very honest with me so here goes.... I feel very embarrassed to admit this......... Please help....
I just ( TODAY) found out that something my H did last year and I asked him .... he lied about. Do I confront him now that he is different and actually knows what the meaning of respect is? it has been @ 2 months of solid improvement and him being open he even leaves his local cell phone here when he goes away something he never used to do.... I want to and then again I dunno how id word it or if it is even worth it?
I was angry before and then whe nhe called and he was genuinely nice... I thought why bring it up it is over and done with and we have talked about this while he was in Mexico and I told him if he disrespected me in this way again... I wouldnt put up with it and he would push me to be unhappy again and to shut down again...
my H has these Femake friends that are friends with one of his crews and one in particualr dated one of the guys and he has known her for years and she is a little to EASY for my taste. I dont care for her very much and she knows it,
Last year he came home from drinking at a friends house and we went to bed.
he always leaves stuff in his pants pockets and asks me to empty them that he likes when I do that for him... Anyway so I am HONESTLY innocently emptying his pockets and he has in them a receipt for GORDMANS and it has thongs and clothes on it.. WTF? I confront him and he says he borrowed his card to a friend and he bought the clothes and thongs for her and then he had to go to the store cause the store wouldnt let his friend use the card....
WHAT A BUNCH oF [censored]!
So I proceed to tell him you know what [censored] you and I dont believe you ,, go to hell with your [censored] whore... he looks me square in the eye and says honey I love you I have nothing to do with her ....
so fast forward to today.. my friend who knows her friend says she heard thru the grapevine that he bought it for her because he felt sorry for her cause she got back from texas and she didnt have anything.... How would they know if it wasnt true.. and I feel like he is laughing at me as are that group of "whores" So in essence he lied and I am angry and i dunno if my anger is warranted... I dont feellike I am overeacting am I?
I know I am above this and I could care less what they think but my H will even say be nice to her honey she is sacred of you...?
this would have been me last year and now I am just upset that he would lie and he still talks to her when he is out.
I also heard that my H just the other nite when he was out ( drunk as a skunk) was giving her money.. cause he feels sorry for her.. she gets money from all these guys.. she has 2 kids and one on the way all from different DADS.... and she is a drug addict....
I am embarrassed as hell guys... in my heart I know he is not cheating and yet I want to say something.. we talked about this before.... he is crossing a boundary....
please respond! I sort of feel upset and at the same time I wouldnt knwo how to present it... Ali my H is the type of guy that would give you the shirt off his back and yet I still somehow feel degraded by all this..
Ali, Ali, Ali...... So what exactly are you hoping for here?
Let me ask you this, do you believe that if you asked him the same question today he would give you the same answer or do you believe that you have grown enough together to where he would trust you more and tell you what actually happened?
Let's flash back to where you were a year ago sweetie, trying to reconcile. Looking to move, piecing it all back together. What a tough time and how hard it must have been for him and you to even discuss such a thing back then.
So you believe it to be an innocent act, then why is it important for you to now hear him tell the truth or to confront him with the lie? Reality is that if you do believe him then you know that he lied so you wouldn't freak out. That was a very tentative time for you both.
All I am saying Ali is figure out if this is really worth the battle or whether you truly trust that this wouldn't happen again.
It just scares me to trust this... THIS*=my feelings.... You are a sweetheart~ I wanted to say I would just let it go... and then I dont trust my instincts... Thank you for your kindness I feel much better and you made me cry too. All my best to you... ~Ali
Thanks my computer is so on the fritz... I thought my post to Frank didnt even go thru.... I miss COG he always knew how to read between the lines and see thru my emotional "babble" and say something to bring me back to reality! You did it though... THanX~
You POV really helped me... yes there is still work to do and this is so new to me it is hard to just let go at times and enjoy the work I have done..
It is always there.. underneath the surface...
he used to let me down so much... its hard to believe sometimes he wont again. I have let myself be vulnerable and really let him in and he is has done that too now ....
Everything you said makes sense... I always love the Male POV~ it seems more rational.... No offense ladies... Anyway... yeah a year ago was ugly and NO~ he couldnt have told me the truth... he knew I loved him but I still believed he was mostly ruled by his "little head" and not his heart....
he always loved me but just never let me in...
Thanks for reminding me and for being Happy for me... it means so much to me.. really.
It is scary you know honey... I have worked my a** off and hopefully one day that little voice that says dont trust your instincts will not let me doubt myself.
COG , would tell me to post to MICHELLE and I never did ... I never felt a success til just amonth ago really and even now it sometimes doesnt seem real. I mean we get along , we really do and he talks to me not at me... he tells me what he is thinking he says please and thank you and he mostly doesnt take me for granted anymore.. IT is a blessing and at the same time it is all to beautiful for me to fully grasp yet....
Thanks again love... All my best to you... I feel so much better... ~Ali
PS~ I know you arent going to believe this, but I was actually looking for you,
.... in Newcomers .... and was so upset I couldnt find you.. now that I think of it. I got frustrated and thought oh he isnt probably even online ALI... DUH!!!!! Its Friday nite too...
.... then I saw Franks name in the forum list and posted to him....
And lo and behold you posted to me....
God really does work in mysterious ways... JUst thought I would let you know that!
May I say I love the way Southern men say DARLIN...
I live In Wisconsin and have grown up here. Men here dont say Darlin... My H worked in Jackson TN for awhile and then in New Orleans LA.. I have gone to see him in both places... When we were in New Orleans and on Bourbon street no less...
When I would go up to the bartender and order a drink he would ask... What can I get you darlin?
Oh my goodness... I practicaly melted... and my H would just smile... We were at a bar and they made me the best Bloody Mary I have ever had in my life! I love em,,, and he blew me away and at the same bar the cowboy who walks around in whitie tighties and cowboy boots walked by us... that was hilarious.. Oh yeah and his Guitar cant forget that!
That was just 3 months before the BOMB~ but I am over that now ... I used to associate it with my last time I ever had fun with my hubby. We even tried to ride a mechanical bull it was funny as h*ll~
So anyway.. I am enjoying a clear evening outside on my laptop.. my kids are in bed and my H is out of town... so I am just trying to relax....
I always tell my hubby I want to go to New orleans again.. I dunno it was just a lot of fun.. we really had agood time and you cant beat it when the Male Bartenders call you Darlin... ~Ali
Well I have a Family reunion tomorrow. I am so excited about it.. the kids are too. Too bad hubby will be out of town. I am going to have fun though... it will be nice to catch up with everyone.... And get some sun..
And get some sun..