How did C go ? I have it on Friday. Today was going to a real live in person friends house. baby steps huh.
Then S9 award assembly at school, juggling 3 teenagers, & video store runs, & now I'm just relaxing. H gets home at 10:30 pm.
Hugs.
Oh, & it was "learned helplessness". Hugs.
I'm glad you feel better with no S contact. A while ago, I did too. I understand.
more hugs
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
My hospital cuisine was a freshly made salad of mixed garden greens, wild sauteed mushrooms, carrots, green peppers, grape tomatoes, white beans and more stuff with some slices of sirloin lightly tossed in front of me with a touch of balsamic vinagerette dressing. They also have the best brownies and chocolate chocolate chip cookies.
Very very neat.
*hugs*
Yummy !!! Did you say cookies ??
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
We are going to have to settle this toe to toe. The gloves are coming off!
I'll be the referee ! g, you're in trouble.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
By all means do not make your emotional and mental wellbeing a priority in the midst of a confounding (second) divorce, job change, buying and selling a new home and relocation. After all your challenging 'hands on' profession does not contribute to any of the potential probably never to be realized stresses you have in your life. Key indicators like significant weight loss, difficulty sleeping, feelings of helplessness or depression do not apply.
We are going to have to settle this toe to toe. The gloves are coming off!
GREAT! Put up your dukes, flex those fingers and find a professional who will help YOU..
Don't ask me what I did yesterday, but I was awfully busy going hither thither and yon. As I went to my therapist's office traffic backed up significantly.. wayyy back and I was going to be late trying to go a distance that was less than a mile away. I opted to park at shopping center and stride my way to her office which was more than a convenient stroll away.
I was striding, walking fast, my only goal was to get there on time. Imagine my surprise when I heard a wolf whistle. Who would whistle at my big fat butt. I kinda laughed, figured it was some kid making a joke. Then I figured, what the heck, take it as a compliment and I kept on moving (faster than the cars). As I rounded the corner to my destination a car beeped. I figured it was the whistler saying bye bye.
When meeting with my therapist I told her about my phonecall to spouse. She pointed out that sometimes the hurt can be so intense you just have to relieve it without thinking of the consequences. I learned the difference between talking to safe people and unsafe ones (spouse) when that situation arises. Many times I feel the big "Duh".. but am very happy to know correct boundaries.
I'm also learning that if I get a cycling thought, obsessive thought that that can be an indicator of symptoms increasing. Now I'm tracking when and if those occur. Let me tell you, I am highly motivated not to be that way! Last night while whizzing home to get my sewing machine to help with costume alterations my mind wandered and I thought of when he was supposed to be returning from Greece. That's when it hit me.
I'm so used to his life being my life. It's my learned response! All the way home, I started singing "My Life".. just those two words as it dawned on me.. this IS my life.. not his. MY Life.
Don't sell yourself short, beautiful lady. Your husband's decision to go outside of your marriage has less to do with you and more to do with his lack of integrity, sel-fishness* (sel-whaleness!) and the advances of the new gf stroking his ego. You've still got it, hot stuff: http://audiojungle.net/item/wolf-whistle/136
I think I will begin compiling a list of your aha moments and epiphanies. One day I may be able to repackage those into a best-selling affirmation/daily meditation type book. And I'll take all the glory and credit. Everyone will think I'm a GENIUS! I'LL MAKE MILLIONS!!! Mwahahahaha!!
But, seriously, you come to these points of clarity that resonate so deeply with me. I'm sure many of your loyal readers will agree.
What are you doing to make your life more magnificent today?
Lots and lots of love, R
*I went back and forth on how to spell 'selfish' in this context. I think my friend's dad thought the word was sel-fish, not understanding the root being "self". I'll have to explain to others in a separate post some other time. ;-)
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
