Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy For the Guy with kids and a WW 6

I do have to say that by the end of the day, yesterday, I was feeling confident again. Realizing that there are so many areas in my life that I need to step up on. Work, myself, my marriage and relationship with my wife.

I have been too caring and too suplicating. With nothing in return.

wdid, you are right. I was getting to the point of bitterness towards her. I cannot allow this to happen. I WON'T allow it. It is not the best thing for the kids. Whatever the outcome, it is going to have to be me to keep up some kind of R.

I am not giving up on her yet. If we are going down, I will be going down fighting for us.

THAT"S MORE LIKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!

DAMNSTRAIGHT!!!

YES!

I'm at home, now. Got home late again, but we arrive at the same time. Inside, dealing with D11 and how bored she is at home. I have to speak to her firmly. Roomie in room, too. I tell her that we have to make the best of a situation we have. Life is not fun for all of us right now. I tell her that she is letting the whiner in her take over. She needs to stop. Roomie agrees. I also tell her that being here and just thinking about being miserable, she should focus on doing things. On what she CAN do and not what she CANT do. She THINKS herself into being bored.

I say this, and I see roomie sort of agreeing. When she lost her job and was home alone for a few months, that is all she did. Think and think. Too much thinking. She then really hit the EA.

Before this discussion, I did tell her hi, and ask about her day. She tells me a terrible day. Must be full moon out. Like yesterday. She had a bad day at work. I start to make dinner. Something she chose this morning. She says, "Why don't we have something light? Its too hot out." I ask, "And what if the kids are hungry?"

Like she is thinking about herself. Lets do this because I want to.

She asks kids and they agree to having salad for dinner. Roomie gets ready and takes S14 to a friends house. She tells me she will be back. I didn't expect her to.

I also spoke to her ex today before going home. He still doesn't want to talk to her, but he will if he has to. I tell him about her possible move, and he tells me that S14 had already told him. He wants her to call him. He says how he understands if I want to step out. I told him that it has to be between the two of them, now. I already spoke to S14 before. He will always be my son. I will always be his dad. I will always be there for him, if he needs me.

We will see how the rest of the evening goes. I noticed that she is not really hiding the phone anymore. She used to have it in a zipper area in her purse. Now she has it more out, but still in her purse. She did turn it off, before she left.

I hate that phone.

I was thinking earlier. I HAVE said all the things that I want to talk about with her.

Its like I am going to set a boundary for a woman that is going to leave anyway. I am still going to have a talk, however. It just seems too late.

But I still feel good.

BTW, the coworker I was on the phone with last night? I had told her to come keep me company since my bud got fired. And to wear something hot so she could bring in some new clients. I was joking with her, but she said that she would. I cooked out again today for client appreciation. She got in this morning and ooohhhh! She was hot. She modeled for me. Maybe thats why I'm in a good mood. We talked a lot today. She showed me something her daughter had drawn for her. We talked about some shows that I have never seen on tv. The Mole? While she was telling me about it, I was sitting at my desk leaning back. She was standing next to me. At one point, she kept pushing on my shoulder to make a point of something.

Ahh. The little things that turn us guys on.

Ok, back to reality.

There is a full moon out btw.. and I hate that phone too !

However, this is about you and your kids. .. and yes.. any further R conversation is likely to be redundant and frustrating. Her going out this weekend comment to you etc.. no need for it.

Motivate YOURSELF.. no react. Just Act and be you..

AT

Man, I've been there.

I hate all cell phones. Everyone on a cell phone is cheating.

I dont mean to imply that all peeps who use cell phones are cheating..

However, I do not like that cell phone because that is her life line.. her fix.. her connection to the "drug" aka OM.

And as the song goes.. "there is nothing he can do about it..". Which I hate probably more ?

Not the song btw.. just the hopelessness and sad feeling that comes with the sitch.

AT

I know this. I am just jaded now. Working on that....