is your BF able to come over so you don't have to be alone. you have a lot of support here but nomatter what anyone types its not the same as someone just sitting with you
Me 27, W26 T-12 M-4 SEP 4/29/08 Holding 250 miles Awaiting Support Current
I don't feel very strong right now, JWS, but thank you. I feel like I've been beaten up. Somehow, I have to go to work tomorrow and function like a normal human being. Luckily, my co-workers know my situation and will be sympathetic if I am out of sorts. His mistakes don't define me, I know. I deserve much, much better than this. And I know good people exist, like you, in the world. I just kind of doubt my ability to recognize them right now.
I think I need to take a shower and try to relax a little. I haven't really eaten all day, not hungry now, that's for sure! But maybe I'll try to eat something.
I think I'm going to sign off now. I will try to update when I find out more info, if I find out more info.
Thank you so, so much for being there.
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
im back now too- i am so sorry...this pain must be very hard right now...but i think talking to his family, mother, OW BF is not in your best interest...it will create more drama for you to have to manage and problems that may get pointed at you...he needs to self destruct without the spotlight being pointed on you...you should tell your friends here , your other friends and family but not his mother or his family...
does that make sense to you?? just throwing ideas out there...
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
Sorry I wasn't there when you found out (damn time differences!). I'm so sorry you are going through this. Seriously, are we married to twins - they are acting in the same way!
Drawing from my experience of finding out about potential ow I was in the same position as you of not having all the facts, I still don't and probably won't get them for a long time. Remember they are in self-righteous mode. What I know didn't work and drove my h further away (maybe further into the arms of ow) were-
-calling his parents and talking to them, it made things a whole lots worse especially as they started speculating and escalated the situation in my mind even more. I know you want her to know how her son has behaved but she probably already does and no matter how much she loves you he is still her son. It won't make a difference to the situation as there is nothing she can do and it will just aggravate your h IMHO.
-how about doing a 180 and let him wallow in his own guilt. If you are angry and react he will just use that to have negative feelings about you and justify his actions. What can you do to let him feel to the full extent of his appalling actions?
- I chased my h for an explanation (quite within my rights as I still maintain) but it got me nowhere. It drove him to have even less contact with me and produced the second bomb as a result.
I just thought I would let you know what happened to me in case it is of any help. I don't think there is a right or wrong answer other than that our spouses are behaving in a despicable way.
The most important thing is to make sure that YOU are ok. I’m here all day if you need anyone.
Hey guys, thanks for your support. I don't have enough energy to post much, I am close to figuring out the truth, though. I am thinking about you all and wishing you all the best. (Sad smile)
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
