Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Am I crazy or is he???

It is hard when they are still living with you. I heard the same thing from people here as well, Mojones. I needed to let go. But everyone is right, that is what you need to do. What I did was take things little bit by little bit of what I stopped doing for him. First it was his laundry, then it was his paperwork that I helped him with every week, etc etc until I was only doing the things that I legally needed to do (pay the car payment). You don't need to jump in head first today. Start by doing one less thing for him and one more thing for yourself than you did yesterday.

Never heard that one before. I like that.

Puppy

I made that one up myself. Letting go of my H "cold turkey" was overwhelming for me. So I came up with this method and it worked well for me.

I think you should patent it!

Sara, How did your H react to you not doing things for him? Did you say "I won't be doing laundry any more" or did you just stop? Do you have any contact with him right now?

I remember on some occassions, he got REALLY upset that I wasn't helping him. But once he cooled down, I think he understood. I explained to him how I felt like I was mothering him all of the time and that wasn't good for our marriage. I might not be around forever to help him so it is time for him to do some things on his own. He was already doing his laundry, but if I was doing a load, I would throw in whatever hadn't been washed.

Do I still have any contact with him? Just business type things at this point. My hope is that once everything has settled down, we could be friends again. However, since he is still heavy in the relationship with OW, I don't see that happening any time soon.

Sara, you seem to be doing very well. I hope that I can get to that point.After talking to everyone including this board I went home and my husband said "you look good today" to which I replied "I FEEL good today" He said that it shows. He got mad at me at one point last night when he was looking for something and I was trying to help him find it. I told him that I was now done helping him look for it. He yelled at me that I wasn't listening and normally I would have said "sorry." I said "I listened...you just aren't making any sense." (calmly) and I started reading a book. Moments later he found the item where I said it would be. I am sure I will have days again where I "slip up" or he confuses me...and GALing is NOT easy for me. But I have looked at it from his point of view and I am not sure if I had someone that thought about me and doted on me all the time if I would actually like it so I am going to try to back off a little at a time. It is hard to become someone new over night but I see how necessary it is. Hope that you all keep reading and posting. It has helped me tremendously. I will keep you in my prayers.