Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Hope4us struggle, part 7

I am not a good one to ask, I love getting them. H bought me some for Mother's Day(from the kids but he signed too) and I just cried. Made me feel loved. I would say yes but don't be mushy on the card and not roses maybe just daisys or a mix and a note that says Knowing you had a rough start today, hope these help cheer you up. Let us know what you do.

kat

H4U,

Sorry if I mix up sitches (too damned many posters with the word "Hope" in their name!), but does your wife work with OM?

Puppy

Thanks Kat.

No Pup. He works as a contractor for our company at another location about 250 miles away. When we relocated here he worked in the office with her, but last Aug he moved to another location with our company.

Does he still communicate regularly with people in this office? Esp. with any of the women?

Not that I know of.

Let me share a few things I think about the situation. I've shared them before, but they've been spaced out in a number of posts.

I think the A is over completely. After I exposed to the kids and they both told W they would have nothing to do with her EVER if she got together with the man that broke up our family I think that woke her up some. Doesn't mean I am positive that she doesn't share an email or IM with him periodically. Maybe even a phone call. I'll never be able to know that if she does it from work unless I walk into her office and demand to see her work email/IM listing.

I think he might talk to some of the guys that work in W's office, but maybe not. The contractors work upstairs in her office and her department works downstairs so it's not like there's a whole lot of interaction between them. The contractors would have no reason to go downstairs much. I KNOW that no one else knows about the affair, for certain, but there maybe some who suspect. I mean, we move here and she's got on wedding rings and a year later he moves away and she doesn't have them on then, so I would suspect that people probably have an idea given that when he was here they would spend a lot of time in each other's offices.

So....He could still communicate with some people there, but I suspect it would only be W (if at all as I KNOW he's already moved on to the next victim) or one or two of the guys upstairs.

And I was just thinking of getting flowers on my way home and giving them to her there.

I'm not opposed to having flowers delivered if it's done for tactical purposes. I did it myself once, as OM worked at the same gym as my wife.

Have something really STUNNING delivered, if you can afford it, and have it "mistakenly" sent to the contractors' office upstairs. They'll redirect the delivery man, but they'll probably mention something to OM, which is what you want.

Just make sure the card is something nice, but kinda neutral -- what you wrote was fine.

That's my thought.

Puppy

I get what you're saying, but I'm not getting flowers to make a statement to OM. I'm getting flowers to make a statement to W that I can do thoughtful things. Not that I didn't do those things before. Heck, I used to get her flowers every couple weeks. It got to a point where she wouldn't even thank me because she almost expected them.

but now that she seems to be coming around, I want to start showing her thoughtful things without seeming like I'm pursuing, so I was just wondering if getting flowers would seem that way?

I'm looking to kill two birds with one stone.

I see your point, but I'm thinking that sending them to work would only make her think I'm trying to manipulate her.....if that makes sense.

I appreciate the comments guys. I'm going to stop and pick some up on the way home.....I'll let you know how it goes.

I think it is a nice thought, h4h. I would say "beautiful flowers for a beautiful woman....thinking of you".