Guess who just burn her finger taking something out of the oven.
Good image for me to follow.
I think I know why acting 'as if' and validating assist in marriage renewal. The left behind spouse doesn't put energy into (damn this finger is beginning to blister.. argghh) trying to make a point that only causes further disintergration. It takes two to fight, one to open the door.
If you see some older guy looking ridiculously happy with a lithe younger woman talking about how he survived his marriage for the sake of his kids and is now living the life he wants.. you've found him... unless that's a common tale of older men vacationing with younger women.
I might do the 'soft touch' program where you offer hand, foot or back massages to patients or writing life stories for folks in hospice. Apparently they even have folks write up two page stories of patients to have in their charts permanently if they want so the staff has a better idea of who they are.
The hospital is run on the Planetree? method. Very interesting. Only about 140 hospitals use that in the US but it's a very patient, compassionate oriented program.
Just had a moment to stop and say hi hope your day is going well for you other than the slightly crispy finger, OUCH that HURTS. Put some butter on it will help take the sting out.
Just had a moment to stop and say hi hope your day is going well for you other than the slightly crispy finger, OUCH that HURTS. Put some butter on it will help take the sting out.
Brian
Bri, your advice for butter is dam, outdated buddy.
Use Aloe Vera, cold water, or some burn ointment. Butter increases the burn time.
Gypsy, I know you know this, I'm just telling Brian so he doesn't continue to cook his finger next time he decides to touch the hot pan.
Have a great day sweetie, & steer clear of hot pans, & cheeseless tunnels.
Hugs.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
That hospital sounds really nice and forward thinking. I've done some journal jars as gifts for people, if you are interested I can send you the journal prompts (if I can figure out how you are all getting email addresses for each other without the private message feature). Anyway, they are a bunch of one liner "prompts" for people to sort of write their life story. Sounds like it could go with the life story thing you have.
For me, I printed them all out, cut each prompt out, folded them, then filled a clear glass cookie jar. Then as gifts I give people the jar and a nice journal to go with it. They can take out one prompt at a time and journal.
Examples are things like.... "favorite childhood memory", "favorite Christmas", "favorite teacher", "Your wedding day", "hardest life lesson you learned" etc........
People seem to love these, and the receivers end up leaving a GREAT legacy behind for their family with all this information!
Chris
__________ Me:39 H:39 D:8 D:4 M:9 (T 13) Bomb 4-5-08, H moved out 6-16-08, Reconciled and H moved back in 5-31-09 Still doing GREAT a year later!!!
Guess who just burn her finger taking something out of the oven.
Good image for me to follow. (damn this finger is beginning to blister.. argghh)
Guess who thought this was just a well done continuation of the metaphor Ouch!!!!
Great insight from LWB, though...so true.
And i really think you are right about this as well:
Quote:
The left behind spouse doesn't put energy into...trying to make a point that only causes further disintegration. It takes two to fight, one to open the door.
I am just now really coming to an understanding of that; it's been way too long coming, I think partly because of how long i've heaped way too much blame on myself for what has happened. As I have come to a more valid understanding of my role, it has become easier to let go of the desire for H to 'understand', and for me to 'justify' my position. Does that make any sense?
Likely won't make any difference in the outcome of our sitch, but it left me feeling less awful after last R talk that H initiated...and there seemed to be a little less anger on his part as a result.
I hope you are having a great day at your hospital orientation; it sounds like a wonderful way to give and receive!!
Ouch!!!!