Looks like I got my point across without messing it up. And on my "war story", that wasn't bragging, that was "I was an idiot" not seeing that coming - twice. Just clarifying my intent. And on the topic of the former Ws, just bad roll of the dice. Great Ws when I Md - first one got sidetracked by a sweet talker she worked with(she's w #5 for him and constantly connected by the cell phone since she can't trust him) and W2 was one of the 5% that went crackers when menopause came around. Just the way it goes sometimes. Unfortunate it usually takes a long time for us to recover.
Rock on, Tom! Well, Plant Lady did her elusive best to avoid me this week but unfortunately there were two points of contact today. She is a rookie so I'll overlook these blunders! But both times she recovered masterfully by avoiding any verbal interaction. Good work on that count. For most of the week she has managed to stay entirely out of the building as her work is such that she can be elsewhere much of the time if she chooses to be. So my job now is to not personalize this lack of getting back to me. I need to recognize that this is a person who can't or just doesn't know how to say "thanks but no thanks". It has nothing to do with my desirablility etc, part of me says "It's just one more woman saying you're nothing to me" so I need to catch that and squash it like a bug! On the upside, it would have been much worse if she chose to go but really didn't want to. So now I think Whatis will just lie low for awhile, I think I've had enough of these kinds of experiences for a bit. It's time to be me and enjoy the good stuff about being alone. I will concentrate on that, on building my self up and stay away from situations which could drag me down. When I'm ready to venture out into that weird and wacky world of male/female R's...well, I may be old and grey I just mean it's best right now to stay away from anxiety provoking situations that just seem to pull me down. I need to be on an even keel these days. So that's my goal. To be alone and love it! Later Dbers.
It really does amaze me at the lengths women will go to just to avoid saying "No thanks"! Coffee Buddy seemed to run off screaming into the night and I didn't even ask her to do anything, she was just thinking I was going to! Again, I just can't fathom why it seems a better option to not face the issue and deal with weeks and months of potential anxiety, avoidance bahaviour and feeling badly about yourself? It's too weird for me. Now, I have to say, I am one who has always faced these things for that very reason, I don't want it hanging over my head. If someone wants me to visit for dinner etc and I don't want to I don't say "can I let you know" and not get back to them, I say thanks but no thanks and throw them a facesaving excuse. I just don't get it! Lie to me but at least show me the courtesy of a response! OK, tirade over...and Fig, I lied, I'm already gray! OK, I stand corrected, avoiding me is a response, it's just not a very nice one!
But yeah, I think there is no tried and true when it comes to marriage. I think we do our best and sometimes not but there is so much tied into it the equations are too numerous.
Trip,
I have to disagee.... I think the equations are the following:
1 Committed Person + 1 Committed Person = Long Lasting Marriage 1 Committed Person + 1 Jacked Up Person (like my exW) = Divorce
In reality, there is no way on God's green Earth to predict if a M will last..... It depends upon how each partner views the M each and every passing day..... My parents were M for 42 years before dad passed... Wifey's parents are going on 55 years...
Take Care,
NMD
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
I just think that if I ever even considered getting married again.. or even into a R.. well she would have to enjoy Taco Night, eh ?
AT,
It seems like a Latina woman would fit that criteria..... I LOVE my Latina woman BIG TIME... Oh, yeah, she is my new W as well...
NMD
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
So my job now is to not personalize this lack of getting back to me. I need to recognize that this is a person who can't or just doesn't know how to say "thanks but no thanks". It has nothing to do with my desirablility etc, part of me says "It's just one more woman saying you're nothing to me" so I need to catch that and squash it like a bug!
WII,
Why worry about PL, exW or any woman? The last time I checked, there were lots of attractive single women on plant Earth..... Go find another one!
NMD
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
The last time I checked, there were lots of attractive single women on plant Earth..... Go find another one!
Oooooooppppppssssss.... I meant to write planet Earth......
NMD
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
NMD, I'm not worrying about any woman! I honestly don't think I want one right now. For years I spent my time trying to think of ways to save my M, trying to address her issues with me, looking to be a better H blah blah blah and I don't want to try to be anything for anyone right now. I think basically with PL I was just wanting companionship, someone to do something with, talk with etc. I wasn't looking for some big dating R, in fact, that might have been very scary for me right now. I really think it's time for me to be for ME! Women will be there when the time is right, I'm just thinking this may not be the time for me. PL may have done me a favour (in a sh!tty kind of way )! Besides, I still have my woman friend for companionship and we don't have to worry about the male/female crap getting in the way.
I just mean it's best right now to stay away from anxiety provoking situations that just seem to pull me down. I need to be on an even keel these days. So that's my goal. To be alone and love it! 
