D - You are in such a good place, just got to believe it yourself. I think you think it and maybe want reassuring, maybe SC could be the person to offer you that ?
Hang in there buddy, if you happy in yourself, the changes you've made, your getting there. I'm real happy for you and hope your W starts to show she has noticed soon too.
Enjoy the breaks. They are a good time to show W how much you've changed as she will then witness it for 24 hrs a day for a few days.
All I have asked my W for is friendship, yet she seems unable to even do that right now, so I envy you big time !!!
That is it excatly what I want reassurances. I know she can not and will not give them to me but that does not stop me from wanting them. I bury these feeling deep but on this board is where I express them, that way when I am home I am happy go lucky.
Again this is her time and I will keep telling myself that. I do enjoy the down time and the trip to NY and the beach should be fun.
I'll tell you what, you just keep doing what your doing. Keep coming her and venting when you want..when you get pissed and upset, come here and my head will be laying upon a platter awaiting your 2x4's...I'd rather you beat my arse up than take it out upon your W and backslide.
let this go for a few days...go have fun with your W and kids.
and DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF.
Thanks Mike, I do appriciate you listning to me. Sometimes I just need to vent to someone. I do not talk to anybody about my sitch except on this board. The less my family and friends know the better.
I plan on having a great time in NY and NJ this weekend. Any time away from work, family and the household chores works for me.
I had a great time with the kids and W in NY. We walked around the city. Took S to toys R Us while W and D went shopping by themselves. We met up at the M&M store. and then went to dinner. After dinner we saw Wicked. What an awesome play. All of us really enjoyed it and we listened to the music all the way to my dads house.
Saturday we all went to the beach, spent over 2 hours in the water with S and D. W was in for a little while. Ocean was a little rough but it gave me a chance to be close to W because the waves were knocking us around a little bit. I helped her keep her balance and held her when she got knoked down hard one time. Went to dinner than walked the boardwalk with S and W.
Sunday it rained so we spent the morning with my dad than headed home. Unpacked car and helped W with unpacking suitecases and starting laundry.
All in all a good weekend. Everyone had a good time.
I did see while unpacking things that she bought me a tie from the M&M store. Didn't mean to but was an accident. She does not know that I saw so will act suprised when I get it.
Your trip does sound good with loads of great positive experiences. Sometimes just doing the simple things together as a family means the most.
They do to me.
Good baby steps.
Your good news has helped lift me after I just hit a 3.30pm slump at my desk. Hit the wall and needed two Foxs Jam Rings* to restore normal brain function. Well as normal as I get anyway LOL.
*Quaint British cookie favoured by the girls in the office.
Kenny
Me:40 WAW, MLC?:39 Kids:S11,S9 T:25, M:14 ILYB:Apr 08 W moved out Aug 08 W:Does not Want to Try
Thanks guys for you feed back. I thought it was a good weekend also. I hope it continues and that somewhere down the road she feels comfortable with me enough to start moving this R forward. Until then I will be the best friend, father and person I can be.
This thread needs to lock so I can start a new one.
Nice Distressed67. Alot of positives in there. I've learned alot by following your sitch. It looks like you are doing very well inside yourself and where you're at.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
It's been a little of both. Following from the backslides to doing what you're doing now with the detachment. I'm working on the detachment stuff right now, and it's hard as hell for a number of reasons - not the least of which I love my wife.
Ken
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
