I agree on the desperation. Her little plan has stalled many times and appears to be doing so again. This time with more possible ramifications.
Funny, she wondered why I could not be generous and think of her and the K's first and let them stay in the house. That was all part of her "plan" - her life stays as is and I go elsewhere. Sorry, but this Lost has the "balls to stand up to his wife" (you may recall she once said I was lacking there) - something the Lost of a year ago may not have done...
That's their thinking.....and your job is to put as many road blocks in that "plan" as possible until their heads clear. During the affair they dream up this plan that they will get everything they want, new H, the kids they have, all the money they would ever need and live happily ever after with you left laying next to the road in their wake. And they can't believe you're not ok with this since "don't you want me to be happy"?
Stand your ground. You're fighting the good fight and hopefully at some point in the future she'll thank you for it. If she doesn't and your marriage ends, at least you'll know YOU stood up for what is right.
Hope4us
Me - 49, W 49 S22 & S18 Dday 9/4/07 W claims NC 4/7/08 8/29/09 - Divorce Busted. Lots to work through, but we're going to make it.
I agree on the desperation. Her little plan has stalled many times and appears to be doing so again. This time with more possible ramifications.
Funny, she wondered why I could not be generous and think of her and the K's first and let them stay in the house. That was all part of her "plan" - her life stays as is and I go elsewhere. Sorry, but this Lost has the "balls to stand up to his wife" (you may recall she once said I was lacking there) - something the Lost of a year ago may not have done...
That's their thinking.....and your job is to put as many road blocks in that "plan" as possible until their heads clear. During the affair they dream up this plan that they will get everything they want, new H, the kids they have, all the money they would ever need and live happily ever after with you left laying next to the road in their wake. And they can't believe you're not ok with this since "don't you want me to be happy"?
Stand your ground. You're fighting the good fight and hopefully at some point in the future she'll thank you for it. If she doesn't and your marriage ends, at least you'll know YOU stood up for what is right.
Just needed to say "DAMN, son -- you've gotten really good at this. Well said!
Spoke to the good Friends I referred to above (by e-mail) re the lack of disc of the financial stuff. Friend agreed with my comment that she really does not want to see it. Apparently she was "he*l bent" on getting it when she spoke to Friend.
Just because...
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
The other night in the 3 hour conv, WW gave me $hit because I had never once in the last 6 months said to her "this must be hard on you - how are you feeling?".
Ok - I say whatever to that. She had A, she wants D and I am to ask how she is feeling?
She also had the nerve to say again that I F'd up OM M by contacting OMW. She then said "I did a good enough job F'g up their M by myself". My reply: "I suppose that is true". (Oops on that one).
Don't know why I just thought of those.
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
Woefully true PDT. I got the "me having the A was all about me - I didn't do it to hurt you". Well guess what, you did (I mentioned that) but also our K's with the lies and deceit (that is for next time it comes up).
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
Just because...