But you know, if what W did wasn't about me, not about something I can acknowledge and something I can improve in myself -- then I'm not really that interested in what it was about.
Well that's good. In fact it's healthy. You're putting the focus where it should be.
Thing is g, if our spouses were going to do this, then there is not a thing we could have done to change it regardless of what we changed. In fact one of my best friends is a shrink and she told me along with my therapist, that it wouldn't have mattered who ex was with, this would have happened. We are talking about weak people, not healthy or even morally grounded people.
The good part is that now we have the gift of taking a good long look at who we are and how we measure up to the kind of people that we want to be. So I can appreciate your view on this.
In fact one of my best friends is a shrink and she told me along with my therapist, that it wouldn't have mattered who ex was with, this would have happened. We are talking about weak people, not healthy or even morally grounded people.
It has taken me a long time to realize this. I used to think the world of this woman, and thought she was strong, honest, and the picture of integrity. To think of her as she is now has been very difficult. But I think it was important for me to see it, and impossible to let go without it.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
The good part is that now we have the gift of taking a good long look at who we are and how we measure up to the kind of people that we want to be. So I can appreciate your view on this.
I can't imagine wanting a divorce, being involved with another man, and intentionally planting one on my soon to be ex-husband and making suggestive remarks... Do these people realize how confusing their behavior is? If we were in their shoes, wouldn't we at least be clear with our intentions? So baffling.
Does your wife do the same kind of work as you? Is that how you met?
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
The thing I think was the hardest part to get through my head is that they don't really spend a lot of brain space worrying how this affects us. They're like kids who never consider the consequences of their actions. Unless of course it concerns money, certainly not our feelings!
Ok Gypsy,
That sounds pretty good first thing in the morning. See I'm accepting your apology.............
