Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy 2008 = Crazy Year (3)

Puppy et al,

Yesterday's convo, I must say, scared the crap out of me. She seemed convinced (and was trying to convince me) she is done. Who knows, maybe she is. BUT contradictions all over. Even saying all I need is communication - and then crying when she said why did I "get it" when it was too late. Again stayed in same bed. Threatened to leave at one point but came back after I simply asked - no begging, pleading, etc.

My friend thought I held my composure really good during her initial rant.

Drama continues. Help me stay grounded.

Night update. After the text msg exchange, when I got home this eve, Heard WW tell D16 she had "splitting headache" and went to bed. I went up, was polite and asked if she was not feeling well. When I asked about the financial, she said she did not want to discuss tonite so she agreed that I would leave it for her.

She will see it in the morning - and hopefully more reality will set in. Part of me thinks she does not really want to see it.

Life, as screwy as it is right now, continues.

So next couple days are going to be interesting as WW is involved in an event going on in our city so will not be home. Just me and the K's in the evening tonight for sure.

I continue to find it laughable that someone who wants out soooooo badly continues to act as she does. Geez, last night when I went to bed, she was so far on my side that she didn't leave me much room to get in (she was asleep, but...).

If ACTIONS speak louder than words (and I agree with that), then her voice is going to be drowned out soon because her actions (or lack thereof) to follow through with her threats (leaving, etc) are taking over... again. And to drown her voice out these days is a major feat...

No drama yet, but any predictions on what WW reaction will be when she looks at financial stuff? No reaction at all? Hmmmmmm...

1. She will blame you for ALL of it.

2. She will then become deeply depressed for the next several days to few weeks, at which time she will either:

a. Use the reality jolt to make a move back toward your marriage; or

b. Make a desperate legal move.

Puppy

well, not really...

Puppy, I am expecting #1.

As for #2, it will be interesting because in 2 weeks, we are meeting the good family friends I mentioned earlier (the ones WW went to visit and who do not support what she is doing). The friends happen to be the largest creditor on our liability side (provided funding for the condo purchase), so I am going to suggest they get a copy. They have said that WW has no reality focus here, so it wouldn't surprise me if they talked to her / us about all of this.

The desperate legal move - if it comes to that, I am prepared. My L has a copy of what WW is looking at. At that point, it becomes a business transaction. Not really much she can do to change the 50/50 split...

We clearly are able to offer more to our K's and ourselves together than we would apart - financially, together we are ok, even with WW having minimal income. Separate = downsizing (house is most valuable asset; WW wants to stay in but me allowing that means I go to a cardboard box...) considerably and closing doors for the K's that would otherwise be open.

Thanks for the comments.

Just make sure you are DOCUMENTING everything, and don't give her ANY ammo whatsoever to file fraudulent emotional or physical abuse charges against you. Be especially careful what you say in e-mail to her.

I have a feeling once she sees the financial reality, she is going to get more desperate.

Puppy

Puppy,

Did not e-mail but actually left her with printed copies. As for the abuse angle, there was one time when I blocked a door so she couldn't leave our room - that was the only time (not proud of that but it happened) and I backed away quickly without any physical contact.

I agree on the desperation. Her little plan has stalled many times and appears to be doing so again. This time with more possible ramifications.

Funny, she wondered why I could not be generous and think of her and the K's first and let them stay in the house. That was all part of her "plan" - her life stays as is and I go elsewhere. Sorry, but this Lost has the "balls to stand up to his wife" (you may recall she once said I was lacking there) - something the Lost of a year ago may not have done...

Response: "I will ALWAYS put my kids first. They are welcome to stay here with me, of course, but I'm not leaving my own house when I haven't done anything wrong."

Puppy - bang on. She has said all along here that the K's would be 50/50, so they will be in the house only 50% of the time anyway.

This whole thing gets me and then more and ... you know.