Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy You do what you wanna do, I leave it all up to you

((Karen))((Michelle))((GF))

GF-no need to tiptoe, I've started to grow some pretty thick skin and for the last month you have been right. However since Fridays little scare, that is no longer the case. I am SO ready to file, but I really don't have the $$ to do so and I could ask my dad or even my friend, but damnit...why shouldn't I have the benefit of at least some of the money my a$$ is swingin' in the wind for? It just makes me sooo damn mad that he is willing to blow it on his f*cking gambling and lend it to that fat, nasty piece of $hit he knocked up, but can't spare any to ensure that we aren't going to have a lien on this house? It just infuriates me to even think about it !

If he hasn't transferred the $$ by noon then I will swallow my pride and actually ask friend for it or even his mom, though that is not really a good idea. As humbling as it is, we are barely scraping by on what I make and I just don't have access to the filing fee...I feel like a loser, but its really the truth, but you are so right. There is no excuse for me to not protect my kids and I'll do whatever I have to do to get that done.

I don't think you are insane, Queen of Patience maybe

H jokingly said that he is going to Vegas next weekend (the 26th) w OW - its her birthday. I told him quite calmly that if he chose to do that, then I would ammend the paperwork to a D and we would be done. I don't have a lot of limits, but this is one of them. He then said, "Oh really?" and when I said "yes" he backed off and said he was just "kidding." I don't believe it for a second so I have decided that if he chooses to do so that I am going to report his credit cards as lost and his ATM card too if I can...lets see how much fun he has with no $$ and no access to any? Is that too mean? The last time H was in Vegas he dropped $10,000.00 in less than 2 days...any thoughts?

ALL THE MORE REASON why you need to file the LS ASAP!

Any debt he accumulates after you have a S date on legal documents is SOLELY HIS. You, the kids, and your house (once he's off it) will be protected.

Please do this, Corey, and we are here to support you. Whatever you decide.

((((((((((Corey))))))))))

And you are NOT a loser. You are just in love with one....f***ing poker tweeker.

(((((Hugs)))))

The date of seperation on the papers reflects when he left the house in Dec., Thank God, but I'm hearing you and I know you are right and it'll get done tomorrow one way or the other. I aint too proud to beg.

The LS only gets our finances separate. We will both need to sign and have notarized the interspousal transfer and that will be submitted to the county recorder's office, so that is also a time sensitive item. I haven't spoken to friend doing the papers, but we are going to chat tomorrow am for sure.

((((GF)))) thanks, I know you are right.

Hi S&S,

I don't think I have ever posted to you before, but you were kind enough to post to me. I know your sitch though. And not to discourage you but you are dealing with A LOT my dear. And granted the nature of it all, you are doing a good job at it also.

I don't think you need to hear it from me, just echoing what others say, you need to separate your life from his until he gets his s$it together. If you don't you will be yourself worst critic for not doing what you had to do on time, based on your knowledge.
Don't be afraid, you will find a solution money wise. No time for pride now.
K

It is horrible that it sounds like he is blowing the money rather than what he should, but I have a feeling that will continue. I think that's a good idea to set the time limit and then do what you have to do if he hasn't transferred the $$. I had to borrow the money also and hated to do that, but didn't have a choice so you do what you have to do I guess.

I esp. agree with this if your name is on the cards or there is any chance you might have to come up with some of the money he spends or be affected financially. Protecting yourself should be your main goal I think, and I hope you will!!!! Karen

Thanks to everyone, H actually transferred the $$ so at break I will bite the bullet and get it done. I'm really sad about this, but theres nothing else I can do. He has put me in a no-win situation and so someone has to be the grown-up, might as well be me.

About the cards and stuff, my names not on them...I would just do it for spite - plain and simple!

Sorry that you are sad, but hopefully at some point your H will get his stuff together and be what you want and deserve, although you may not care by then of course!!! Well, even if the cards don't have your name on then or whatever, if your H loses $10,000 I would imagine that affects your kids or your future divorce sitch also. That's money that could go to your kids instead of casinos!!! I feel so bad at the way your H treats you!!!! Karen

I went and got the LS filed at break. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but this still blows big time.

The only credit card H currently has only has a small limit on it and he is basically broke right now, so I won't worry too much about it at this moment. If he were to get another/more cards and start running them up, then it could affect me, but the separation date on the papers is 12/28/07, which is when he actually left so I am not responsible for the debt he incurs now (theoretically).

Maybe hes not really going to Vegas, but it wouldn't surprise me in the least...nothing would now. I will just have to do what I told him I would do and leave it at that...

(((((((Corey)))))))

I know this was a very difficult thing for you to overcome, but you did it , and for that I am very proud! The LS is a good thing - the best thing for you and your babies.

(((((((Be well and be strong)))))))

(((GF))) I know and I actually feel a whole lot better now that it is done. The next thing is his name off of the house and then I feel like I can breathe a sigh of relief...somewhat.

Texted with H a little bit regarding this and I'll post em' later.
Corey