How do I reach him? How does anything I do or say get across the divide? Do I give up and just focus on me and that will magically draw him in? It seems far too simplistic. It feels a little hopeless is what it feels like.
((KJ)) Your list is awesome, good job !!!
It will feel hopeless at times. It will feel good at times. He will feel closer at times, & miles away at times. You will backslide, & take baby steps forward..
The whole time.....focus on you. What do you need ? What do you want ? Make yourself happy. Fill your own love bucket. I'd love to be going camping with you, that sounds fabulous. Just breathe. hugs
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
The camping trip has been planned for two weeks and will start tomorrow. I will focus on just me all weekend. I promise you that. I am going to read, and journal, fish, suntan, knit and yes drink. Anyone for Blackberry Merlot?
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
Wifey, you ready for this? I took a 10 day trip to Scotland alone with my wife when we were 11 months into seperation.
I know the anxiety, I know the fear, and I know the feeling of not knowing what to do.
So needless to say, I survived the ordeal. I actually did really well on the trip. The key for me was detachment. I focused on what I wanted to do, I would leave her at times to go see stuff I wanted to see. This weekend for you can be an opportunity to show him that you are strong and that you are finding your own feat so to speak.
Instead of feeling concerned about what could go wrong, start thinking about all that can go right. The power of positive thinking is amazing when you are trying to DB. This weekend is your opportunity to showcase what you are learning and how much in control you are.
So in simplest terms, if you want to fish, fish. If you want to take a nap, take a nap. If you want to run bare asss naked through the woods, do it (make sure there are no kids around of course). Point is that your showing off your independance and ability to choose what you want is a very attractive thing for a man.
Thanks Arthur and sgccxok. I started packing this morning and I'll finish tonight. The wine is already chilling and I will be getting my fishing license on my way home tonight. I'm taking my DB book with me and the lounge chair.
I just don't know that I can every forget about the situation. Maybe this is more to distract myself than anything.
How do I reach him? How does anything I do or say get across the divide? Do I give up and just focus on me and that will magically draw him in? It seems far too simplistic. It feels a little hopeless is what it feels like.
I think the lounge chair, the water, the book......oh. And the wine will help quite a bit. This is good.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
I leave in 15 minutes from work. Sooooo excited! I send a daily grateful message to my h every day. Todays was that I was grateful to be getting a life and focusing on my own happiness for the weekend. He said he reads the emails, but he never comments. I can't imagine what he thinks of that one.
Someone told me here at work to spend the weekend soul searching. I responded no, that I am going to just have fun and NOT think and soul search about all of this crud.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
