Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? Lightbulb Moments and Statements of Being

Ms. imp, Mike and g..

"Stick a fork in me" just sounds painful.

The whole concept of marriage things dwindles. His behavior indicates that he's been entangled with her for quite a while, much longer than the few months he alluded to. When we were last intimate in August '07, it felt like he was making love to someone else. I accepted the crumbs.

It's odd. The concept of detachment was agonizingly painful. The reality of detachment is a dull thud. I start to get riled up, then remember.. he's not worth the effort.

The man he is now is the other side of the mirror. Our history has been rewritten. I no longer know what was good, bad.. so I drop it. I stick with the now.

In the now I see three incredible kids.. that he and I did good. That I do know. It's enough.

Just the facts, Ma'am, just the facts.

*hugs*

This is me pouting.



Or is that a sad face.

My pinky finger is going numb. I bought a new keyboard thinking that banging on the one that got sticky may have been causing the problem. So far, it's still numb. It's annoying me.

This website has become my social life. I figure that's not good. Yesterday at the amusement park, I told my friend I've forgotten how to have fun. I can do things for other people, enjoy activities that other folks invite me to but I can't seem to initiate anything.

If I think.. how would I want to have, what would I do? Actually, fun for me is traveling and going to different places. But I don't see how I can have that type of fun being responsible for kids and feeling its inappropriate to spend money on that as the divorce is going through.

Perhaps I'm putting too many "can'ts" instead of "gonna's"' and "how to's". Maybe I'm feeling cranky because I got an email from spouse thanking me for setting up security questions he could answer for the online credit card and then asking me to do the same for the checking. I replied 18 hours later that he could do that on his own with based on his social security number.

It felt like that old feeling of him expecting me to do what he asked. Part of me.. internally responded. The other part told me to shut up, let it go. The lawyer realizes I cannot do, will not do the four person conference where we all sit around the table and discuss the settlement.

I don't know why this upsets me. I don't know why this hurts. Maybe it's part of letting go. Maybe it's part of not doing enough physical activity. Maybe it's me succumbing to helplessness.

I moved to this area because I couldn't handle the yeah rah rah of Newcomers... Now I feel lonely that not all my buddies post to me. And yet I'm pulling away in a way.

Yep.. this is me pouting.

Or this might be typical codependent behavior passively expressing things, being direct.

I'll deal with that now.

Thank you for those who take time.

I've been marching forward, not really feeling able to respond about 'me'.. just writing to the world at large because it's easier than focusing on particulars, on your kindness.

My answers vary based on my mood. It's all well intended.

*hugs*

Hi, I miss you over in newcomers. It's not the same without you.

hugs

Hi Gypsy.

I have a quote I have had on my refrigerator for years. It applies to different things as I have progressed through my life.

It says
Am I so busy doing that I don't have time to enjoy being?

Sometimes it applies to my 'career job', sometimes it applies to my 'mom job', sometimes it applies to my 'friend job'.

I need to step back and enjoy 'being' those things to myself and to others.

I hope you take the time from doing to enjoy being Gyspy and what that means to yourself & others.

hugs to you.

I'm keeping track of threads and users. I don't really know who is where any more. Everyone is all over the place.
Gypsy - sorry I couldn't stop by on the wayback. What's the thought for today?

Hi Gypsy. I don't think I have posted in your thread before, but I know we do have some of the same friends on DB. I moved here from newcomers too, and I too can't take the cheering over there. It sounds like we are kind of in the same place. I know in my sitch the D is going to be a reality. Detaching is something I still need to work at as well. This weekend I have let H have way to much effect on me and control. Good for you telling H to set up the online stuff himself. That is something I have always done and I know my H is going to get nervous when he has to start taking care of all the household stuff. It is kind of hard for us to GAL if we are the primary caregiver and worried about budget. I need to broaden my horizons to so if I think of anything good I'll share it with you.

Hey!!!!!!!!! I am posting. You have to realise the way you post doesn't leave much room for "ideas", "improvement suggestions" or "useful" words.

Sometimes you tell all I feel, some other times you wander to places too difficult to follow (especially in English for me).

But your friends are all here, so stop bitcing...
K

I'm here Gyps...

I just do searches for the latest topics, so it doesn't matter where anyone goes, as long as they still post, I can find 'em.

U just sound like you're in a funk das all.
the only person that can get your ar5e moving is you.

i lie in bed sometimes in the morning adn just don't want to get out. I remind myself that I can make my limbs and muscles move regardless of how I am feeling or thinking. I _can_ get up.

Just a bit of rambling of my own. Hope it's not too confusing.

Wow. I do this all the time. I spend time telling my D6 to enjoy the moment (she is always like "What's next? What's next?", can't enjoy what's happening at the present time). I wonder, does she learn this from me being on semi-auto pilot over the last year? Sigh.

Do you have carpel tunnel at all Gypsy? Might be your pinky answer.

Don't be lonely.