The financial disc didn't happen - yet. Friends that were invited over stayed until late, and WW even had to leave to go pick up one of the EGF at the airport.
During dinner, talk about using the vacation property in the fall (WTF?) and Hawaii at Christmas (WTF 2?). Too bloody weird.
Crawled back into own bed last night (recall that D10 slept in my spot for 2 nights). WW was expecting me - left the TV on and the remote on my side of the bed. Old habit perhaps...
WW had a restless night - got out of bed about an hour after I crawled in. She likely was awake the entire time. Nerves? Guilt? Her body appears to have given her some reactions lately that make me think so.
I am having a mental tug-o-war over whether to answer he question about "my plans" or just stay silent until asked again.
All I can say is thank God for our kids right now - they give me so much strength to perservere!!!
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
I am having a mental tug-o-war over whether to answer he question about "my plans" or just stay silent until asked again.
Lost, I don't think you're under any moral obligation to let her know what your plans are, until you make them. Just say "I haven't decided yet; I'm still studying my options. It will be very soon, however" and leave it at that.
Puppy, generally agree with you on that, but my plans haven't changed from what they were when I first found out:
- I am not going anywhere - I want to keep my family in tact - I want to learn from the past - I am asking you (WW) to stay and do the same but realize that I cannot make that decision for you and that you are free to decide what you want to do.
I realize it may be a good tactic to let her know that maybe I am having some doubts, but would that be the way to go?
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
I agree with your list, but think it's missing two essential items:
-- While you are an adult and I cannot force you to do anything, I do have a few personal boundaries that are essential to my own emotional well-being. I would ask that you respect them while we are still married.
and
-- My patience is not without its limits. I pray you'll make the choice to come back and work on our marriage very soon, before what's left of my love for you wanes.
KEEP ALL OF YOUR OPTIONS ON THE TABLE, even if you have no immediate plans to use them.
My doubts are only whether to bring up this without her asking about it or wait until she does. It will no doubt go into more R talk when it does come up. I do not have any doubts about where I stand and what I am wanting to do.
The scary thing for me is that the longer this goes, the MORE CONVINCED I am getting to see this to the end. I think I am firmly entrenched in my stand now. And the scarier thing is that even though I can honestly say I do not like my W right now, peel back the wall and yes I do love her, probably more than ever (CAN THAT MAKE ANY SENSE WHATSOEVER???????????)
Originally Posted By: Puppy Dog Tails
KEEP ALL OF YOUR OPTIONS ON THE TABLE, even if you have no immediate plans to use them.
Puppy
Yes, I do still have all cards on the table. The only one I have played so far is contacting OMW. I am still dealing with the $hitstorm that resulted from that one. That is likely the reason for a lot of the silence the last few days (along with the pressure that her M&D seem to have put on her).
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
[quote=lost_in_spaceThe only one I have played so far is contacting OMW. I am still dealing with the $hitstorm that resulted from that one. That is likely the reason for a lot of the silence the last few days (along with the pressure that her M&D seem to have put on her). [/quote]
And, as Martha Stewart would say, "That's a good thing."
My doubts are only whether to bring up this without her asking about it or wait until she does. It will no doubt go into more R talk when it does come up.
Then you have your answer, and should have no doubts.
[quote=lost_in_spaceThe only one I have played so far is contacting OMW. I am still dealing with the $hitstorm that resulted from that one. That is likely the reason for a lot of the silence the last few days (along with the pressure that her M&D seem to have put on her).
And, as Martha Stewart would say, "That's a good thing."
To top that all off with the fact that I am now labelled an a$$ kisser for getting along with my IL's, yes a VERY GOOD THING IMO.
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
"(Wife), if you consider it to be 'ass-kissing' to tell loved ones the truth, then yeah, I guess I'm an ass-kisser. I'm just shocked and disappointed that you're still lying to them, but that's YOUR choice."
If this all blows up (and that is a possibility), the lying an deceit lesson will be a good one for the older K's in my sitch. Would be one of those discussions that you don't really want to have but I think it would be necessary... Some things are just not acceptable in life.
If this doesn't blow up, then we can set the example by living what we preach (which is what should of damn well been happening all along). Mistakes can be made, but is how you recover and learn from them.
The long road continues...
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
