This thread has been idle for a month. It has a lot of good info on the Retrouvaille weekend for anyone considering trying to improve their marriage through Retrouvaille. And I am here to answer questions.
Do you see Retrouvaille helping H and I? You know my whole story.
I read in another thread that if you never had the spark or can't ever remember the spark from the very beginning it is very hard if not impossible to get it. What do you think?
I don't think there is a magic formula to marriage. I believe that if both people really want it to work and put forth the effort, failure is impossible. Could someone convince you that there is a child who would be very hard if not impossible to love if he was yours? Love doesn't come from Cupid's arrows or fairy godmothers' wands. It is built day by day on a foundation. If anything, I am tired of talk of love happening to people like a thunderstorm on a sunny day. You can do it if you try.
This thread has been idle for a month. It has a lot of good info on the Retrouvaille weekend for anyone considering trying to improve their marriage through Retrouvaille. And I am here to answer questions.
Thanks Sara,
Manuel
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
I copied and pasted what you wrote and sent it to my husband. Thank you. You always say the exact things I need to hear.
OK, I'm mad at myself for thinking about this....but I have this thought that I need to say goodbye one last time to OM. Like closure or something. I keep thinking about it. Bad idea? Talk me out of it if it is...please.
I think it is a bad idea. If you must, then send him a short letter. But do not see him personally, and don't get on the phone with him. Make sure what you say is final, that there is not a space for him to comment.
I agree with Deauxlie. Nothing speaks louder than silence. You have told him already you are working on your marriage. Silence says that nothing has changed, you are working on your marriage.
It is so easy to snatch defeat out of the jaws of victory. I've done it so many times myself. Not all relating to love. I'd say professionally, I have gotten in my own way a lot.
Thanks, it does help. We can’t fail because we both are putting forth the effort to stay together. I just keep thinking what that retrouvaille lady said that the most difficult part is walking through the door. I think for us we can’t wait to walk through that door and start the healing. That tells me there is hope and love present. It is there waiting for us once we walk through that door.
I'm not sure what to do about my feeling of needing closure with OM. You are probably right that I should not see him. I just have this nagging feeling of needing this before Retrouvaille...like if I don't, I will not be in the frame of mind I need to be in...you know what I mean?
I think your frame of mind will be fine. I like your husband's response. It is true, you two can't get there soon enough.
Retrouvaille is a very involving experience. I am confident that they will capture your attention without any necessary meeting with OM first.
To me, this desire you are experiencing is your mind trying to pull a fast one on you and get you to fail just when you are likely to succeed.
You said goodbye to OM, and as I recall he said something lovely like "Just get the F^*& out of my life". Are you looking for more lovely parting words?
