Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? Wandering Poster - Twenty Six

You are hoping to get a positive response/feelings. So, I think I was getting at trying to reinforce those positive feelings (which then would hopefully lead to positive reactions).

That makes sense, Michelle!

I also just found the article really interesting.

It kind of makes me think about the DB stuff like turning down say 10% of invitations to do things, that sort of thing.

Lol.

I should probably be thinking about work though!

Hey guys....I know you are all here at "Jeff's party thread" so could I ask you to take a look at what I put on my thread that happened this afternoon and give me your opinions, 2x4's, lectures, whatever?

Hi Jeff!
This is great, I love that yuo are filling up a corner (?) of the mirror and I agree with the others..its surely a positive sign, however weeny, that she hasnt just grabbed a cloth and wiped it all off. I think you are being really brave and I'm so chuffed, keep going !!! I love Kalni's idea too, you'd have to think what you could ask her though and chances are she would rebuff the question...but worth a shot!

Its ace to see you take some action and so creatively too! I love it,

Ali xxx

(((((Jeff)))))))

Thanks for the help!

I regards to Kalni's idea, it sounds like a bold move to me. It shows some real thought put into connecting with her. I wonder if she'll give you any kind of response. It's hard to tell with her since she is such a tough nut.

I would say do it though! You have nothing to lose, right?

Ok, so we like Kalni's idea...

What are we going to ask?

Make a dinner offer on a day she'll be home from work.

Make an offer to make her lunch.

Ask her if she still needs the boxes from Target.

Hmmmmm...what else...

Ask her to tick a choice of 2 (or 3 ?) things...for you to collect later whilst she's out...either

- what she would liek for dinner (if yuo are home first and getting it ready for her)
- what she would like for pudding (if she is getting dinner ready, but you would pick up dinner on the way home)
OR - what she would like cleaned/tidied/done by the time she is in from work, like the TV room, or kitchen, or garage, or grass mowed...this would fit her cleanliness thing and prove you are listening to her, but might not suit you, too subservient??
- or, which Movie she'd like you to rent..

Something you can do whilst shes out and have it ready for when shes back (dont know your schedule!)

(((Jeff))),

All Ali's and Michelle's suggestions are really good ones. I really like them.

Also I had the idea of maybe you offering to decorate the room she is now sleeping in anyway she would like. That way when she is sleeping in it you will have made your mark (as it were!) and she will think of you. Also it is a man-type thing to do which she may well appreciate - although I don't know your wife!

Julia