also- there is a great book called getting back together and it states that you can reconcile too soon- i like how you said that you arent ready- that shows how much work you are willing to do and are doing. i feel the same way. im not ready for reconcliing- just ready to be friends.
Pisces
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
"Let's say that "gifts" are her LL. I like the idea of getting little inexpensive things to just let her know that you were thinking of her.......but tell me this......how can you do this as a S couple without it looking as though you are pursuing her"
You take the kids.. and do something they would enjoy.. you factor in that they would have fun making something. You all may enjoy making something. You include in the "making something" process.. Mommy. 3 of you go.. 4 gifts get made. Mommy gets included.. and was not even there. That "gift" should have a little bit of all of you 3 in it. perusing.. and showing someone you care.. 2 completely different things. You can touch a LL.. even if you are separated. Honestly.. you have before.. you just forgot how. "Gifts" come from the heart.. you don't have to buy them.. usually the less you spend.. and the more of "something" they can see in it.. the better off you are.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
I really like the idea of complimenting your W on her career. In my sitch my W has always felt underappreciated in her field (not necessarily by me). This will be good if she takes a lot of pride in what she does, which I imagine most teachers must.
I think Forest's idea of making something for mommy with the kids is excellent. The first week I had the kids during the sep, my Mom was visiting and she had the kids make my W and I "love you" cards. It had a pretty big impact on my W.
I also like the coffee idea, would pull off even better (wouldn't seem as pursuiting) if you got something there for yourself as well. "Hey I was at the coffee shop on my way over and picked you one up as well"
I sense a little bit of positive tone in your posts lately, I'm glad to hear it!
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
yeah...i don't want to do too much too soon because i don't want to push her away. probably will wait a couple of days before we make something for "mommy"...LOL
did the coffee thing...she said what's this for? i said because i wanted to.....although i didn't get anything for myself....
things are more positive...she sent me text pix of the kids yesterday when they were playing...and she is talking to me about stuff...a little bit.
so that's all positive...
baby steps.
this is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo agonizingly slow.
that's ok tho. it took a long time for our marriage to get to this point...it ain't gonna be fixed overnite.
Last edited by Neilh23; 07/09/0812:02 PM.
ME:32 WAW:31 D #1: 3.5 D #2: 2 Together: 13 M:6 Bomb Dropped: 2/15/08 Sep legally: 6/18/08
"Tommorrow there'll be sunshine, and all this darkness past..." -Bruce Springsteen Land of Hope and Dreams
Excellent baby steps....her initiating the pix message is very nice...she was thinking of you in a positive light
It is slow, but if you can minimize the backslides the steps get bigger and bigger. Just remmember to let her decided how big the steps will be, it is her turn to drive.
You have a great attitude, a big change from a few days ago.
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
neil- that is a big baby step! that is a very positive sign- just dont get overly excited with her about it! share it with us you are really showing her who the new you is and she is responding...and i agree about the slooooooooooooooooooooow process...we are little buddah's right now- be present! im struggling a bit inside my head with wanting things to rush too fast- and i think it is best if this goes slowly- as painful as it is...too fast could mean trouble too
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
